His Love traits. I'd highlighted those which are true in purple~

Gemini - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go. You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire. You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you. Your negative traits: You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person. You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships. Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems. Your ideal partner: Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested. Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave. An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship. Your dating style: Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy. Your seduction style: Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice. Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet. Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing. Tips for the future: Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast. Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can. Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time. Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Quiz, quiz and more quizzes for me, puhlease!

Visited sue's blog and she had these postings on it... so i decided to try. though not as bagus as hers, i still liked my results... hee.
and yesterday, i watched some dating kinda show on Channel U. even the horoscope guru said that gemini and scorpio coupling is a tough nut to be together.

and i've summed it up. it might not be a good thing IF i really were to get married to him. not for the horoscope's sake, but, seriously, i'm beginning to think if he's the ONE for me. i love him still, but i have to accept the reality.

Cold and lonely.

Well, i dunno what to put for the title. mayb, something sad. so that u feel intrested to read it up.
neways. went to a dinner at a temple yesterday night. saw this guy from my entrepreunuership class. again. for the sec time when i've had that kinda dinner. i tot he wanted to talk to me, but i just acted blur.

i tot my actions were fooley, and went str8 back home and search him in friendster. wanted to apologise for my actions, but it turned out that he hasnt even noticed me.

blardy shit. and i made a fool outta myself! haha. i think i'm from aes as well. geez.

and i took the BTT today. i just hope i can pass, cuz i hasnt really study, and mayb some god will help me with it.

i might be meeting dear later, gotta pass him the puffs. and prolly, i just feel like having a romantic getaway with him, since he promised me some rollin' good, quality time with him.

i dunno. mayb i just have to take what comes my stride. =)

yah. i noe. wrong english used. but whatever. i dun really care. for now.

Ciao~

wow... finallly yeah!!!!!!

the exams are over.

u dint hear me wrong. i'm gayyyy!!!

lol. yesterday morning at 10.30, marked the end of hell and now's starting another round of freaking-out period, which is the anticipated, the exam results.
but well, life's abt waiting and waiting.

went out shopping with my gfs straight after the exams. to jurong point, and i live in ang mo kio. lol.
bought a dress for lili jie's wedding, and a blouse. we had quite a lot of fun. lol. after that, went to meet mom. she bought me a pair of jeans, skirt, and something like a cheong-sam. hee.
but still, life's pretty much intense.

mum just told me that grandpa's diagnosed with cancer, yet again. i thought it was not with him anymore. i'm sad, cuz when i think my grandma has left us, i wouldnt want another to go with her. i might be selfish, but, i just wouldnt want him to leave us.

and i noe, for the fact that grandma might be protecting him from anything now. i noe she'll want him to live happy and free of illness. right, grandma?

and mom's meeting up with a satan at her workplace. i shouldnt say this, but u have to noe. her colleague's a biatch. BIATCH. when my mom asked her if she wants to read a mag, she havent even waited for my mom to finish the sentence and cut it off crudely by, "NO."
now, what the hell is ur prob? mayb u need a man to satisfy u instead. f*cker.

den again, my mom tried to talk to her sometimes, but she just stands far from her. giving my mom tough days to spend. and my mom informed her few days ago that she'll be late for work today cuz she'll be going for a checkup, she dint say anything, yesterday, when my mom reminded her of the checkup, she told my mom"why cant u check earlier?" she said this crap when they're working at 10.30 today. piss off, biatch. u're a plague.

why does some satan still exists in the world? i thought GOD is supposed to rid these demons.

and sure enough, we have one satan in our grp. not quite a satan, but mayb someone who might get on my nerves quite occasionally..
mayb if i just dun care, would things be betteR? if just accepted things the way it is, would i be happier? instead of thinking all "its" bad points, would i breathe easy? not possible, cuz i'm a str8 forward person.

i wont entertain pests who actually takes advantage of us and sit ard, biatching their way.

sue and joy, know what i mean rite? LOL.

enuff's said. sit back, and enjoy the holidays. hee.

below are pix we'd taken yesterday...
At toy'r'us!

da cuties! errr, i mean barney. LOL. no, i mean my fav. gals!


da dingdong who starred in the movie, chicago, as an extra. borrowed the crop to just take a pic.lol



da threesome. lol! my best gals!


my arder soulmate

Now, back at home...

da disgusting me!

hi.

quarrels are never gonna cease, much less talking bout my wrinkles. i do not have wrinkles now, but in a few yr's time, or mayb, even next yr, i might have lines all over my face already.

i dunno why. i just cant seem to study. mugging, to me, is like drinking plain water. u know, the "marvelicity"( i invented this word myself) of coca-cola with ice and chrysanthemum tea just sends me to thrill. but, plain water? i dun take it as often. serious.

it's just plain. and hard to swallow.

sometimes, i wonder, if one is in a bad mood, would u think abt others?

i admit, i'm being selfish. but that's me. but i'm trying to strive. trying to not care. but i still did.

that's me.

and i suck.

okie okie. i dun.

LOL :p

*yawns

sorry for the crudeness in the opening. and i'm really aint into any studying.

though tmr will be the day when doom's gonna visit me. but seriously, i'm just sick of studying lar.

reading up the same sick old materials and suddenly with mah mind bolted to the thought of mr bongg.

yes. and i just posted a bulletin on friendster. well. read it if u have the time, if not, u can say byebye to that post.
anyways. i seem to have very dry eyes nowadays. dunno why. weird.

geez. and i'm feeling lethargic right at this moment when i've napped for like, 3 hrs this afternoon. what is happening to me....????

shall blog in u soon. see ya. -muackz-

Stressed yet fruitful.

hi. well, i aint afraid that if mr pang read my blog. i'm sitll gonna post this up.

today was a very hectic day. first, me and lijun went to school at 8 this morning to rush on our project...

next, we did the codings all the way, till 11, which was the time to present. but when we presented, the stupid codings dint work again, so me and lijun had to represent. den until 1.30, i rushed to my entreprenuership's presentation.

i dint have to do that ent presentation, but i have to stick ard with my grp members. but when it was like, 4+, i received a call from lijun. she sounded pretty tensed. and i got to noe that i gotta do another function for the vb project for mr pang. and so, i went from blk D to blk L. which, wasnt quite a distance, but still, stratigically-challenged for me, as i dint have any meals. lijun too. so when i reached blk L, i slumped into one of the comp and began to sulk. i really dint noe how to do the codings.

until i met my GOD. she's cindy, jl's fren. she helped me solved the codes within like, 10 mins man. geez. i have 0% of her brain. why. so stupid.

and the ent teacher told me that i have a high posibility of flunking that module.

doesnt sound feasible to me. just felt a bit unjustice done. i dint study man. shucks. if i have a re-test, i confirm can pass lor.

but well, what's done's done. i can just be conformed to hell if i really flunked that module.

and to sue n joy, damn. dun blame me. i'm a bitch by nature.

i guess u guys noe what i meant. but, bottom line is, i'll grow up. and be more sensible...
so guys, thanks for ur concern... i really appreciate what u guys did for me... =)

confused.

the moment when i post in here, i pose the danger of letting peeps noe bout my status.

but doesnt matter. it'll just be a matter of time.

had a chat with Alan today. he's my ex. and we'd known each other for 5 years. and counting. we got together in sec 2. broke and patch, broke and patch for a couple of times trouout this 5 yrs. well. i should say. he told me lotsa things today, which i dint noe. i realli dint noe.

i told him about him(another) and me. he asked, why am i still like that? he told me to stop criticising ppl that much. and dun expect too much. it felt like ive got a slap in my face. a slap from reality. it seems pretty much that i'm been drifting too much on this sea called life. and i had no directions or whatsoever in this huge place. finally, some sampan came and the kind fisherman gave me some seafood and asked me to quit roaming, and fish.

true enuff. i ode to quit roaming. in this huge area.
and fish. for food that's gonna fill my stomach. the food called maturity and the stomach called brain. finally i realised, that i'm really childish. always mentioning the word. that broke the possible love of my life's heart. i broke one too many. and mayb, God finally wanna let me have a taste of my own. of being lonely.

sadly enuff, i'm confused. mind is running wild. and free.

should i break free? or should i let him go?
tough question. shoot me dead.

i'm not worth to be alive.

awww. yawns.

am damn tired. but doesnt matter, a bit of blogging wont kill.

but yes. my braincells are 90% gone.

and i'll be vanished by then..

watched the lord of the rings-fellowship blah blah. i cried when boromir(or-whatever-his-name-was) died. and gandolf too. so poor thing. courageous and brave. i wonder if i can do the same as they did when i encounter such "happening" event. doubt so. but still, fiction shall remain fictious.

back to reality. i'm braincell-zapped, which is a new term for walking zombies like me. braincell-zapped. sue wants updates. and i wonder, if sue is the only caring soul who's been faithfully reading my blog. okie. mayb not. mayb she's kaypo. LOL. shit, im gonna get a arse-spanking from her. but no, she doesnt spank asses. -winks-

oh yes, and not forgetting grace. the occasional reader of my blog. and some other souls out there. meihui, etc. lol. and meihui and meihui and meihui. well, kept repeating ur name cuz... no other names to put lar.

school's been, not-so-hectic. for me. i dunno bout the rest. mayb they already have their tresses going str8 up abv their head. i realli dunno. i just wanna slack my way throu my poly life. though the way i'm leading it, ppl might just as well gimme a pat on my back and say something encouraging, like, "get a life, arse-hole."

i'm trying hard to. cant u see. but still. i'm in a hole too deep. it's nv ending. nv ask me to work. nv ask me to do my homework. my tutorial. shag my teacher. nah, the last one, omitted. it sounded too obscene. i have no intentions or what-so-ever too. unless, he has a nice -squishy- buttttt and mega-watt smile. den i shag till i'm shagged.

arghs. the abv paragraph is crap lar. serious. i realli have no intentions to have a shag with my *gag!* teacher. i will only do with my favourite one. and my soul, will tell me who. will lead me there.

crap, again. well, will stop crapping
i'm typing nonsense. it's so nonsensical that i find what i typed is complete nonsense.

and letchmi, can you pls improve on ur blog?

us w/o letch


that's me and letch. sorry for the pic. we're gross. but grossly beautiful. lol! just joking.

Ouch, it hurts!!!

Yesterday spelt drama. we almost broke up. yeah yeah, yet another childish act of mine, u might think. but seriously, i noe that i'm always harsh and impatient. anyone kid with me, off u go. and true, i tot i've been taking things for granted from him. but still, that's prolly cuz i seldom do!

but anywayz, back to the story. i was feeling all moody yesterday morning, and when he asked if i wanted to go out with him, i said dunno. he said, 'okie. today i listen to u. tell me where u want to go and i'll bring u there.' and i said dunno. and that got him dissing. like say, 20%. and he took it in his stride. and den again, he said,'okie, u go think abt it... i need to go take a power-nap. meet toa payoh at 3.' and i replied,'i dun wanna go out.' there. boom. 90%, and he said, anything, up to u. and we hung up the phone. i called him again, wanted to say that i want to go out. but he jumped into conclusion that i wanted to break. but den again, i cleared things up with him. so, he suggested to eat out. okie, dude. no prob. but, theere's a prob. my mom;s cooked. so i lied to him, that my house dint cook. and i asked him to go double check. if his mom's cooked. no, was the reply. alrite den, see u at 3.

den, at ard 1450, when i was downstairs waiting for cab, he called. 'eyy, my mom's cooked. come to my house to eat.' at that point in time, i really wanted to kick him at his groin. and make him groan like an old man. i dint wanna go, cuz of his family. complicated stuff, u shouldnt noe. den again, i said to go back to my own to take my breakfast. and den to meet again. and he's pissed cuz he thought i just was anti-social and dint wanna go to his house. but i wasnt. i just cant tell him the truth. and we quaarrelled. but den, we came to the agreement. eat already den meet. alrite. but he msged me: if u're going to carry on this attitude any longer, i'm afraid i cannt take it anymore.

boom. it's like a slap on my face. i tot everything was alrite, but he just "slapped" my face. like that. piak! ouch. it realli hurts. and i couldnt take it anymore. i mentioned the break up. and he said i broke my promise to him. my promised him, not to leave him, no matter what happens. an d he said i broke it. at that very moment, i just wanna quit. realli. go to somewhere rural, and bury myself alive.

and we fought. and he switched off his phone. and i rushed to his place. and he forgave me. ii noe, cuz it's myself taking him for granted sometimes. he'd gave in. i noe.

and then, we went to ikea. and i wore my new pumps there, and incurred some blisters. hurts like hell. and i bought a wall mounted lamp. hadnt done anything to it yet, cuz , when i returned home, it was 12 midn. dad says couldnt drill in anything at the mid of the nite! so, here i am. waiting for dad to come back at 3. to drrrrill it for me. hees. and we watched "Hitch". wasnt as nice as expected. prolly, i'd grade it C. realli. hmmmmm. i plan to watch boogeyman and the one starring jim carrey. the baby's so cute! =) just take a look below!

and my baby too. i love him. and i realised, after so much's happened, i realli couldnt leave him.

In awe.

hey. i'm in awe.

am realli happi today that my project's codings can work at least a bit...
well, and frens, pls dun think that i'm showing off or boasting... cuz it wasnt realli anticipated that it could work at the last min, so that's why i'm very happy... and kept emphasizing to u guys... reason being, i dun think telling him, he would understand it...

hmmm, and yes, my phone's only a week old and yet i've already dropped it twice. geez. TWICE!!!
why??? so poor thing, have a clumsy owner.

went shopping for shoeflats with jinling today, at junction 8 bishan... i bought one and i liked it. and jinling bot a pair with heels. and geez. one look at the shoes is like, one word for it: glam.

blam! and i bought a mug of the lil mermaid for like, 6 bucks. at minitoons. check it out, if u like mermaid as well.

AND! i eyed one long/sleeve at DANO. it spelt:princess. serious, it looked fab. and sweet. but i hesitated for very long. cuz my pocket's reaching doom. and jinling saw a long skirt, which i think looks very authenticating on her. nice. and she was also hesitating whether to buy or not.. so, finally. we decided. to buy. and she went to the stall. damn, cant fit her.
and i went to the DANO shop. damn, last piece, which is the display piece. so, both of us, ended up, with disappointment and left j8.

hmmm... so much for today. and yes, i aint realli angry at anyone, and i still feel like kicking bong's ass. i hate him.

good nitez, ppl.
ps.: i've changed the song to westlife's miss you. like it? ask the song from me. email me, tag me, whatever. it's urs. =)

Throwing in the white flag. i give up.

though this is not the first time. but still. sometimes i realli think, we shouldnt be together. i'm just very confused.

i noe u're sick of me, mentioning the break up and all. but u dint think that i am, too? bet u aint aware of it. well, things are getting way out of hand. i feel that we no longer have the common topics, and feel very distant nowadays.

reason may prob because we seldom meet nowadays, and waiting for ur call is like waiting for rain during the drought season. (someone on my msn list got this nick, adapted from there, hope he/she doesnt mind)

probably cuz i still have the tension from ur family. it realli gonna kill me sooner or later. seriously, like what i've told my frens, if i have a crystal ball, and i noe that i wont be with u in the future, i dun think that i would want to carry on our relationship anymore.

i think u can find a much better gf, and ur mom can find u another girl, better quality than me and prob can marry u anytime. so she can bore ur mom her longing grandchildren.

and i noe that if u read this post, u'll be very upset by what i've said. but all i said, is what my heart tells me to.

Hmmm. bored.

hi, i'm having this boring wed afternoon. not that i allow it to tag along with me, but, wed afternoon insist on following me. no choice, cuz, i dint want it to become my friend. it says that if i ignore it, and do otther stuffs such as watching tv, do nothing, it'll still follow me. so, the choice is not up to me.

hmmm... he's gonna work night shift, and mom, gonna prepare for work in another 10 mins... and dad, working afternoon shift. at least, the wed afternoon dint managed to catch up with them. i'm the sacrificed one. whatever shit.

i'm talking crap right at this instance.

ive bought a new phone recently. i dun realli noe how to operate on it. and the CD Rom they gave along with the box was crap. complete bullshit.

and i think i'm prolly gonna chalk up yet another mountain of bills. i'd spend on ringtones, pix and GPRS usage.
whatever. i dun care. cuz wed afternoon says that i'm going broke at the same time. budget budget. my bank account has only $*** left.
ouch. pinch me. but no need, thank you. i'm already back to reality cuz i feel the pain. with my bank account.

the past two weeks, me and my girlfrens have been skipping OS night lecture. for the extreme purpose of sitting at level 4, chatting our hearts out.
not that i dun enjoy what we did, but i pity the lecturer. cuz there are 6 notti girls who prefer to chit chat than go to his lecture. poor thing.
but i wanna luff at him, cuz we 6 girls dun give a damn bout him. he deserves this. he practically reads everything off the lecture slides. but, doesnt matter.
whatever he's doing, i dun think we give a damn. just do the best we can. lol. right, girls?

and, i get realli pissed off with our H(read:Hash)CI tutor.
well, not exactly i take him as my tutor. but i've got no choice.
the school assigned this bastard to us. and i'm very sure, the school's a bastard itself.

to think they used our money to employ a bastard to teach us. feel like rioting and killing every single one in the school(hunks, girlfrens, and frens are exceptionals.
they aint included in this masarcre).

especially the HashCI teacher, who pronounces H(hedge) as Hash. damn. am pretty paranoid that when i grow old, i might pronounce things the same way*(read: where) as he does. and my poor friend, moon heng, that blardy teacher pronounced his name as, moon hAng. i do think that he has a problem with As and Es.

but well, he's just a pain in the ass. feel like kicking asses. to his exceptionally hard.

the next person's ass i wanna kick is:

well, look out for the next posting. that's all i can say. prolly it's gonna still be him. i dunno. i'm full of vengeance.


and it's gonna rain!!!!!!!!!! end of drought seeeeeeasoonn!!!
YAY! =) no more sun! but, shit. i hate raining when i'm alone at home. ive' got a phobia, cuz once, i was alone, it was ard 6 and raining cats and dogs, and sky was damn dark. and shit, thunder and lightning came and damn, a power shortage in my historical home. geez. i hate it but love it at the same time. =?

Why?

i've got zillions and trillions of why-s for everything. perceived as only from kids, but no. i'm asking that as well.

anywayz, yesterday, mon, which happens to be V-day, my girlfriends exchanged gifts with each other...i'm sure each and every one of us is happi... =) went to bishan with 'em, had KFC. letchmi was kicking up a fuss as to what to eat, wanted to eat pasta mania in the first place, but couldnt cuz it wasnt halal... den, we're left with only KFC, long john's and MAC. duhs. KFc. had two piece meal shared with joyln... my stomach was restored to full balloon after the meal.. joyln bought me a rose, and i was damn awkward holding it! sue, grace and sharon each bought me separate gifts, and i did the same too...i bought them friendship bands; though it's cheap, but it reps eternal friendship b/w us... =) *frens forever*

den after skool, i asked jinling and jeannie over to my place... did nothing much, watched the teevee and den had a small game. am currently the *princess of gamble* as bestowed to me by him. they left shortly, 3 hrs later, when my mom came home. and sadly, my mom got into an angry-but-it's-her-fault prob. i feel pity for her... angry to her colleagues. they'd ill-treated her. i'm angry.

and when da-kor came home, he saw me using the comp and casually asked if i havent went out... geez. a chinese saying is applied here: rub salt to my wounds.

but i dun realli blame roy. cuz he's gotta work. it's not as if he's out with others. so, doesnt really matter. term-test and his billiard practises has been taking up most of him time. how i wish, he can be invisible to me. so i wont care, think, of him. it really aches my heart. though i know i very much cant compare myself with those things that morally not supposed to, i still did. and now, i'm at home, while he's out at Orchid Country Club playing billiard with him friends. sometimes i realli wonder why must i be a girl. why? a girl has lots of restrictions. :cant go out late, cant do this, cant do that. why? sometimes i wonder am i still in his heart. ouch. my heart is slowly tearing up in pieces. and i can feel the pain, coming from within.

why am i always wanting to meet him, but, he doesnt even give a damn? sue's taught me that i should just let him initiate things, but sue, i'm sorry. i dunno why, but i cant. it's within me. wanting more. but ended up waiting takes up even more.

does friends realli mean so much to u? den what abt me? u want to talk to me when u feel like it, u want to meet me when u feel like it. when u have time but u wont want to meet me. what is all this abt? i'm realli worn-out. tired. crazed. fazed. dazed.

i hate u!!!!!!!

i hate u. why issit that when i need u the most u're not here?
u're weak! why do u always fall sick?! why am i always the one to take care of u?! why am i not the one being taken care of? what kind of bf are u. i hate u.
the most.

physically crashed. and burnt. i dun wanna live with(out) u.
i'm mentally tired. gone. i dun expect much.
from u, i failed. to be a good girlfriend.
i hate to be ur one.
i hate it.

i'm not suitable for u.
find a better girl.

if i'm gone,
will u be sad?

if i'm gone,
will u cry?

if i'm gone,
will u be happier?

only if i'm gone.
things will be much better.

Updates~

hey, i've updated my blog.. like the new look?

just as well, i've cleared the song. the current song playing is "Dont Say You Love Me" by The Corrs. issit nice? had a hard time uploading it, though!

anywayz, enjoy and have a merry holidays!

Eww.

awww. i dread updates. i used to have a up-temp poise, to update my blog. but now, i couldnt care less.

much has been done, much has been said. still, requested by mah girlfwen, sue, i'm to write my blog. not that i'm completely submissive, but i want to, cuz i'm bored. goddamn bored. i slog whole day in the house, yet i've got nothing. i feel so un-used. i feel so outta place in this house. why? do u even need me?

i certainly dun think so. i'm very pissed. so what if it's ur birthday? no big deal. big deal. ouch. and dad asked what to buy for meals today. i suggested noodles. and sec bro, too. and he said he wanted to cook some fried noodles. so, yes. i like them wet. with soup. and, yes. dad went to fried the noodles. what else? yes yes, the green-eye monster has gobbled me whole. but hell. i do care, even if i say i dun. my ONE bought smth for dad, a shirt. and i told dad that it was from him, he shook his head, and said that no need for him to give him a present. in a negative way.

i do loads,yet no good came out from them. what shall i do?

sink into depression? my usual style. but i wont let ppl notice it. only that they'll noe why i'm suddenly so happy.

my heart's broken. and no one can fix it.
i'm broke by someone i love so dearly.
everything of me is chipped. gone.

an angry woman is a angry woman.

An angry woman is an angry woman.

Big F***! me and his romance are really short-lived. i dunno why, i kept dissing off at such minor matters, yet, he's leaving me to isolate. big F***. i'm realli angry. why doesnt he shower me love? why??? why is it that his fren fell "outta love" and he needs to accompany him? why does his gf need his love yet he gives none?

why is he not beside me whenever i nid him? why issit that i have to stick to him like f***? why cant i have some self-esteem? do i have no shame at all? do i even need him to be ard me when he's not? do i have to question myself whether i love him at all? i dun understand why i'm feeling like this rite now.

thing is that: I DONT NEED YOU TO BE RIGHT BESIDE ME.
but i need u to be there with me, mentally. cant i just have that? it feels just as if i'm alone, stranded, dead. why am i still with u? i dunnoe. frens, do not ask me what's happening(though i "want" u to ask), cuz u will noe. but why is he not even asking me? why is he always thinking that i'm kicking a big fuss outta nothing? i throw my temper ard cuz i need attention from u, u blardy idiot! cant u read me? i know we're together for a very long time already, but u still dun understand me.

"You need to shower women love; not understand her. You need to understand men, and not love 'em."

right, right. and so the saying goes. u dun have to understand me. just love me. but u realli gave me none.

jl said smth last night that woke me up. but i dun care. "maybe he's had his time shared b/w u and his frens, it's just that u cant see. and u thought he's not." big fark. but why did i devote all my time to him?! why is he leaving me alone?! why am i being such a bitch to him?!

i realli ponder sometimes, if we dint get together at the very beginning... ... ...

I'll miss and still love you.

Hi, it's me...

many things happened when i dint blog for like the trillionth year. my beloved grandma passed on, i got scolded by wilful customers, etc. it's a relieve for granny that she passed away, but it's pain to all of us whom loved her so dearly. she's battled the illness since last oct, if u'd followed up my blog and if u're a faithful reader of mine. she's so nice to everyone; amiable and friendly. it's really a waste not to have her ard. i will always remember vividly how she'll chuck wads of cash into my small hands everytime she'd see me... and she'll always be the one fitting the bill whenever we go out.

but i guess, she's living great in her piece of heaven, i'd dreamt of her. with a rainbow ard her. my parents said this is good omen.

as for my job, it's a relieve as well, that i've finished the contract and got my pay. i wouldnt want to deal with more unreasonable parents who're damn hard-up for some photo-taking shit. i've wiped my ass off it, and wouldnt want to touch that kinda job for a miserable pay anymore.

and for studies wise, i've been lagged by a week as i've skipped skool for my grandma's funeral, but luckily for me, i think that tutorials helped a hell lot. but sadly, i'm with 2 of my present classmate for the project, which sucks like hell. am thankful for the both of them, but hates it when i cant get paired up with my gal frens. arrgh.

things have been running quite smoothly('cept for my grandma's death)...
i spent my new year with my baby, and i enjoyed it. well, i'm dreading to say those, but still, i seldom share my happiness but i'm gonna give it a try now. i used to think whenever i share my happiness, it's always short-lived and cursed. but hell. i'm trying it now. i'm not showing-off, btw, if u THOUGHT i was. no, i'm not. lol.

the Tsunami's hit the shores of many asian beaches, sending tens of thousands of innocent ppl to their lil piece of heaven. i hope they get the best up there, and hopefully, there would be no more of such disasters anymore. it's just so saddening to hear the news everyday from now, the presenter's telling us the number of those whom passed away from the fatallic waves. and i hope that families of the deceased will grow stronger and independent, which are partly what i'm trying to achieve now.

still, i wanna be thankful that everyone else is still with me, and i'll try to grow up and out.
Taufiq's quote, as of what i wanna say to end these off : i love you all!

Tired.

hey, long time no blog. has been working for the couple of days since the 17th nov, which sadly, is my birthday.

anywayz, i'm working as a "usher" to help facilitate queues and give out freebies for the kids who are attending the disney and frens' show. sometimes it's nice to see them smile after they receive the freebies and they'll jump ard with tigger... but when they cant get into the show, their sad faces shows all and it makes our hearts melt, but we cant do anything...

haiz... i'm ending now.. too tired. tmr may go to reg getting the car license... good nitez. =(

nowadays, i'm really wondering if heaven is making fun of us. it can be sunny and all of a sudden, be so dark and cloudy. well, i'm gonna stay at home today, and am planning to start mugging prolly tmr. issit too late? i hope not. =) anywayz, went over to granny's place yesterday night to have dinner.

when we reach there, granddad was watching soccer on the tv, and grandma was sleeping. and my lil cousin, bryan, asked for my phone and played with its cam and game. lol. and he was such a vain pot, he asked me to take several pix of him. lol. my phone has a mini album of him now.
He's the cuttie.
hees. how's it? is he cute? or is he just a poser? lol.

btw, i went to meet dee after my dinner... i wanted to go over to semb park with him, and i called him at 1930, but he said it was kinda late... so i decided to just go over to ahma's place... but when i was there, he msged me and asked if i wanted to meet him at yio chu kang station. of course i do. so he arranged 2115 and i agreed. i reached there earlier, cuz dad sent me. i reached at 2100 so i waited.

until 2115, he wasnt here, so i called him, and he told me he was on his way. arrrghs. he came at around 2136. i was 68% pissed. realli. and he snapped at me too. he asked me whether i'm being unreasonable as he's apologised and i could actually get angry over such a small matter. it's true. i bite easily nowadays. dunno why, though. but eventually, we got back together and went to the park infront of my house. even though it was raining pigs and elephants, i enjoyed the walk as it was tranquil and serene. and cold, of course. 

i kinda love this pic.  

i'm just gay.

had a couple of tiffs with baby last few nights. i'd been acting like i was damn depressed, and i dint noe what's got into me. we even quarrelled yesterday afternoon. i told him what i was feeling and i knew i was wrong to say that. but that's really how i felt. and he said what i told him was pretty insulting, and that i'm the first to say that to him.

i dunno. i guess i'm just eccentric. den, i went out with jinling and jeannie. and jeannie went home earlier as she wasnt feeling verry good. think she's had a headache. den, jl accompanied me to cut my hair. i was having a headache before that, and was actually hesitating if i should cut my hair. i feel that i shouldnt, cuz it fits my face pretty well. but in the end, as i wanan get rid of the few strands of disturbing and disgusting hair, i decided that a har cut was essential.

we trotted our ways to orchard far east, and settled in a shop with ugly decorations as i opted for a cheap haircut. the lady proceeded to gimme a hair wash and i felt that i was revived from the killer headache. den, a guy came over and asked what kinda hairstyle i wanted. i explained him, and he was like "huh?". and i tot to myself "am i gonna let him ruin my hairstyle?" i was totally freaked out. in the end, the hairstyle he gave me made me look even more like a freak. it was damn short. and i felt like killing myself.

after which, jl and i got our asses at long john's and we ate a meal and at the same time, i asked if baby wanna meet. he agreed. anywayz, the meal was filling but i still managed to topple my cup of coke over with my clumsiness. damn. den, we went around far east to shop shop. i bot a pair of big-pearl-earrings. it was kinda damn big for my ears. but den, i still bot it. jl told me to buy the other one which was slightly smaller, but i was stubborn, what to do. and it realli was big. and so, we walked all the way to heerens. jl bot lip gloss for herself and i decided that it was time to meet baby.

when i saw him at amk hawker, he was with darren. and he looked at me as though he has hatred in his eyes. i was scared and dint really dare go near him. darren left shortly after and we went to check out the showtimes of movies at the jubilee. we decided on "the exorcist" at 2120.

den trotted our ways to ntuc. he asked me to treat him to the drinks and the tix and so i agreed. well, i was kinda reluctant, but i scolded myself. he's my bf, and i shouldnt be so calculative. afterall, he's always been the one who's forking out cash for our every outing. okie, we bot our food, den went to buy tix. after that, went to play arcade as we've still had some time. i won him in car racing but he won me in 2 other games.

it was the first time that we went in together but i was gay. it was fun playing with him. it was den time for the movvie. and the show was. damn. just like my hair. outta point. further more, it was damn cold inside the cinema... and i went out shivering. he asked for a hug and i agreed. den we walked all the way back home... =) and after i got home, he dint msg me or anything, so i suppose he was asleep already. i msged him and told him that he neednt call me anymore, so that he can go back to sleep. he replied "ok. u sleep early too. u go check your bag, i left smth inside." argghs...i tot he really forgot to take something back and when i went to see, OMG. there was 2 ten-dollar notes in there. i was shocked. i called him and asked him when he placed it in, he dint wanna say. den i asked him issit when we hugged? he admitted and said that he couldnt bear to lemme do the paying. damn, he can be such a sweetie at times. =) salutes.

Good Morning!

hihi... blogging to kill time, meeting joy at 10.50, so there's still quite some time away from that...

anywayz, told u that sleeping cuttie dint call rite? in the end he called me at 1.30 later in the night. lol. i was half pissed that he woke me up but quite glee as well, as at least he wanted to talk to me... heee... he told me that he'd fell asleep after he'd reached home and had a bit of his dinner... and he complained that he was feeling unwell; body warm, and throat hurt like hell. but he returned to work today... poor thing, i hope he's okie...

dad is like dear. he's transversing in so many places... to work, to send me to skool, to visit my grandparents. and mom, likewise. but her working time is too long, she cant visit them. i salute them. i love you.

Arghs.

damn angry with this webbie. i wanna upload some pix onto my page also cannot. argghs...

anywayz, i was trying to do my use cases for OOAD and meantime, watiing for his call. but until now, seems like almost impossible for the call. duh. i'll go sleep.

i'm darn tired. but what to do? the stupid me came back again. and the stupid me actually waited for the sleeping cuttie to call. anywayz, he was quite satisfied for what i've did for his proj when he came over on sat. and i'm satisfied by his satisfication. lol. realli.

i want more love. i want more energy. i want more time. i want more more smartasses!!!

Sumptuous.

Hmm, had my cousin's wedding dinner yesterday over at Raffles the Plaza... I was shocked when i entered the ballroom, cuz it was dimly lit with blue lazer lights on each and every of the 50-odd tables. The ambience was good, and there were quite a lot of great lookers ard... i was sitted with my family and most of my younger cousins...

before the dinner, we sent my grandfather to Alexandra Hosp., he was diagnosed with probable streak of cancer. but the doctor said an operation is not needed as the cancer cells might not be able to survive in my granddad's body as he's too under-nuitrition. LOL. as for my grandma, she's had complains that bolts of pains were sending trou her body before my uncle sent her in. she was stubborn and reluctant to go there, but my 2nd uncle managed to persuade the adamantine grandma of mine to visit the doc's.

the doc decided to check on her kidneys and lungs. but she's still stubborn. she's afraid that she mite live in pain forever after she'd operated and she'd rather live with the illness from now. haiz. why? i had times when my tears wanted to drop when i saw them, but i held it back. i cant influence my mother. she's far too better at crying than me. so, we head off to the dinner. dad was pissed with the traffic, though i'm not very sure why. i dun understand why he can get so pissed with the other drivers, and just keeps swearing his way. weird dad i have. but i love him still. im very much involved with my family, i've finally found love from every of my family since my 17 years of life.

as for dear, i guess he might be busy again with his exams coming up. he complained that he's damn stressed, and i know it. he worked night shift last nite, came home for like, 3 hrs and spent 2 hours napping i suppose. after which, he left home to do project with his group. he gotta wake up at 0545 tmr morning. sometimes, i felt sympathy for him... he's got too little time for himself. he gave time for me, his work, and his studies. i wish we'd have more time in a day, so he can rest more. and i'm realli used to it already... i realli dun mind and can understand what he's going through. mayb i'm too selfish in the past. but i'm still a lil bit upset that he cant spend more time with me. haiz. why am i like that?

but anywayz, i wanna go to geylang serai at this very moment. i wanna go get the influence from surayah tmr. lol. i want cookiiieeesss annnnddd cccrrreeeaaammm!! mmmmuuuummmmmmmmyyy!!!

I SCREAM INJUSTICE!

Jerry, sly, maia, leandra, and daphne were in group A. david, taufiq, olinda, chris were in group B. "who's gonna go out?" i tot group A was going out cuz of daphne and JERRY. but, group B were in the danger zone. okay, doesnt matter, it mite be chris who's going out. but HELL! it was david! not that i'm some kinda fan of his, but!!! WHAT?! i think singaporeans are still voting for the better lookers and not those talents!!! DAMN.

i think JERRY might not be out as he praised and thanked GOD in front of everyone. not that i dislike GOD or anything, but, i think the christians out there might be helping him out with the voting! i dun condemn christians, but hell! do they have foresight! DAMN. i think jerry should be OUT OUT OUT! PUI! i despice him!

Jerry sings like SHIT! worse than constipating!!! HE'S JUST SHIT!

yucks. seeing him on the tv set actually dirties my screen. yuck! *pui!*

I SCREAM INJUSTICE!

Life of a boreder

Hi. yup, i think u've guessed it correct. i got called up by the Cpp lect this wed again. duhs. it's normal, dei. he informed the whole lot of us that there's a re-test on next wed. sheesh. it sucks. realli. but still after skool that day, my girlfrens and i went out to causeway point to dine at delifrance's. i ate the chicken sandwich, and oh, damn, i'm drooling now thinking back.

lol. suresh tot of the idea of dining there and we all agreed as we wanted to celebrate hers and gracie's bdae... and after the meal, we went to john little to buy gracie's bdae pressie.. we bot her a perfume and handed it over to her today cuz we mite not be able to see her tmr... "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE! *muacks*" i dunno if she's happi with the gift or not, but i hope she is... lol. i bot a edt for baby too. and i hope he likes it. but i dun think he's put on yet.

i've been working on his proj from 7 till now. and i finished part of what he wanted. he's gonna pass me somemore tmr. damn, i dun think i that hardworking on my own project. *luffs*

sat, i've got to attend my cousin's wedding. another one at the end of this month, and another one at the end of this year. wow. guess my parents' going broke. and i'm following their footsteps. i'm broke too. hee. i'm left with...wait! i tot i still have 5 bucks left, but im wrong. i'm left with nothing. i have to pay back suresh and sarong tmr. damn. damn. damn.

and all of a sudden, i dread going to wedding dinners. it's messing up mah brain. i'm confused does not know what to wear cuz my body's bulging. skirt? blouse? heels? damn. it's taking my life away.

it's slowly draining life away from me.
and it's not gonna end until end of the year.

Hi.

i'm been at home the whole day. it's a saturday alrite, and i'm at home. i dun blame anyone, but myself, for dedicating everything of mine to him. he asked if we wanted to meet, but i rejected him cuz he mite be doing it as he felt that i wanted it. but hell, i told him that i want to meet him tmr instead as we can have the whole day to ourselves tmr.

whatever. i've read this article abt horoscopes, and it's oh-so-true. abt gemini, that is. it's quite long, though. wanted to put it up as a file, but u guys may have to dl it, so i decided that i paste the article up. only abt gemini. i'll highlight whatever i think it's true abt him.

GEMINI MAN
A man in this Zodiac has a thin long and proportional face. He has a high forehead and very cleaver. He looks like he can not stand or sit still, a very fast person. His nose is just right in size, thin lips, talk fast and very talkative. He can think faster than he talks, but once he starts talking, he will talk non stop as if god has gifted him with that special talk machine mouth. He likes to cut his hair short and he is very athletic. He is a tall, slim and every movement of his is "Fast" or nearly calls "Hyperactive".
He has long fingers and always tapping on table or moving his finger as if he is trying to grab something. He is the type, who will write or scribble on paper, he never stays still. His hair always well comb or neat. He will spent a long time to comb his hair. He will keep his manicure and pedicure clean. He is a well dress and clean guy, so if you like cleanliness, you will love him.
He will keep all his cloth in big closet, and never throw away even shirts he never wear any more, but yet he still keep buying new cloths and make sure he is in style. He knows how to dress well even with a low budget. He get bored easily with his favorite cloths, cologne. He is very picky, so soap and his cologne even have to be in the same trend or same scent.
If you date this kind of guy, you might think you are dating 2 guys, you will have to guess his feeling and emotion. Is he doing thing because it is a duty, or is it because he wants to?
He changes his mind as fast as he changes a new pairs of shoes. He can pick up
a book and roughly read through and understand it's contents, so if you see a Gemini man who reads the whole book, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.
He hates to set fix schedule, and dislike a boring same routine job. He could hardly be on time, and can only keep time if it is complete important and necessary. He does not come late because he forgets, but because he always find other attractions along the way. He likes to act opposite to what he wants to do. He is a very good speaker and makes a very good politician. He can easily persuade other people and well presented himself in public, a real charmer. If he is a writer, he will write the best seller.
He always searches for truth and constantly studies himself. He never satisfies about his fame, his reputation or money, because he thinks he deserved more. He will keep searching even he is not sure what is his ultimate satisfaction.
Woman in love normally wants to feel secure and stable, but if you fall in love with this guy be prepared to be alone. He will come to see you when he feels like it. He won't even know how he spent his day everyday, so adjust yourself if you love him.
Dating him is like dating 2 guys, so today he can tell you how much he loves you, but tomorrow he might call you to cancel your date. When he upsets, he could tell you he hates your dress, even it is the same dress he used to tell you make you look very sexy. Do not ask him why he is that's way for he won't have any explanations too. When he is back to normal mood, he will take you out again and forget what just happened.
You can not expect him to be the same person now, and forever. His changes will depend on you, for better or for worst. If you like to take risk and dare for challenges, you will get along with him fine. He keeps his emotional secretly as if hiding it, so you will not be able to see if he is in love with you, or does not give a damn at all, but be calm and patient.
He will never leave you if he thinks you are a puzzle, then he will spent times solving this puzzle.

it's so damn true. he's been working and working so hard for the opening on mon, that he forgot me. i'm quite sad, but in fact, i'm quite getting used to the fact that i'm 65 percent alone nowadays. but i cant blame him. cuz he's such a workaholic. working his ass trou the day and into the nite, and me, submitting my brain cells into bottles of misses.

Day of Dudes. *Sluurrrps!*

Was out with baby last night with him and his colleagues... They organised a "Departure celebration" for him and his boss, Jeffery, who are going to leave for SengKang... He asked me to wait at Compass Point at 1745 for them to fetch me over but they couldnt make it cuz their boss sorta like, stalled their time...

So he asked me to walk ard CP.. and i got my ass stuck in "Popular" and began to read a book named "Why men lie and Why women cry". it was a hilariously farnie book, and it tot me quite a lot of stuff... but i assume that the author's a guy, cuz the content was rated quite 'sexist'. Baby called me and instructed me to the taxi stand... it was already 1820.

so, i trotted my way to the taxi stand and waited for another 7 mins before they reached. soon, we're on our way to the hotel. but, quite unexpectedly, we got lost. we were going round and round singapore and to imagine, we actually got to the Harbour Front! baby decided to call david, but that blur sotong wasnt able to give any usable directions.

phone calls were flooding in, and confusing directions were given. we finally reached that place at 1945 or so, and we were all starving. we entered the lobby, and i saw david standing next to a handsome prince. he was Hisham. He was having this "i've-got-white-teeth" smile and he looked really dashing. the best thing is, he dint look a single bit like a Malay. baby was greeting everyone and they teased that he looked like some insurance-agent.

The food was bad, extremely spicy and so not-my-taste. we took several pix before leaving... i hope it turns out fine. saw yixia, daren's gf yesterday... she looked bettter, her skin. LOL. i'm not trying to say anything, dun think wrong. i just think this way. Then after the dinner, we walked all the way back to the Raffles MRT station. we were like, walking for 5km man...

it was realli long. but i enjoyed the scnery nevertheless. we were walking along the stretch of the pier, from the end to the front. and i enjoyed every single moment of it. it was fun, and Hisham was crazy. lol. oh yah, forgot to tell u who walked with us: Darren and his gf, Me and Baby, hisham and imran, and david. poor david, he was quiet all the way man... felt quite sorry for him.

then on the train, Hisham asked me a couple of times who i'd choose if i werent with baby. i dunno what to say. i wanted to say it was david, but i dint. i dint noe what baby would react. i meant nothing, anywayz. cuz hisham definitely dint want me to say baby, so decided to say david. but i kept my mouth shut. lol. joyln is looking now. i'm blushing. continue at home ya? bye...

Happy

oooooooooooo!
i'm so happy! though this new skin of mine aint very pwetty and i dint do it completely by myself, but i hope u guys will try and like it! i had a hard time finding and editing the pix! =) so for the time being, ciao!

Sick

the past couple of days had been hell for me. i was down with fever, with a temp of 39deg. i tot i was going to die, but hell, no. i know that lao tian ye is good to me.

went to see doc today, he gave me some antibiotics and cough syrup. 4 types of medicine!!! i can still feel the bitterness in my throat. yuck! i hate cough syrup. he gave me an MC, which i think i'll be grateful to him. lol. was supposed to go to meihui's chalet today, but dint cuz i was feeling realli sick. and i'd spent the two days alone at home, how lonely i feel. called baby but he was too busy that he cant pick up my call. =(

he's spending a lot of time on his work, he even went back home at midnite yesterday. to think he started work at 8 in the morning!!! i suppose his boss wanted him dead. lol.
but i dun care lar. i'm quite used to him not being ard me. it doesnt matter anymore.

for now, i'm' gonna help him with his proj which is due on mon. but i cant help on my c++. =(

Sad.

waiting for baby's call rite at this very moment... will be going out with him for dinner later.. but dunno what time he's off work... i'm hungry... =(

anywayz, i got called by my C++ lecturer. sucks like hell, it's the third time he's called my name. damn, i feel so f-up by him. not that i dun like him or anything, but , mayb i should only blame myself..

joy, me, grace and sharon went shopping today. BUgis. yah, again, again. lol. What to do? i'm so rigid. bought 3 bras and a bag. i'm not realli satisfied with what i've bot, though. and we'd shopped so fast, that when me and joy saw our watch, we couldnt believe it. lol.

and we bot surayah sweety's pressie. *winks winks* we hope she'll like it...
feeling a bit of a headache. u think shall i go to sleep? i slept at 4 last nite, cuz i napped in the afternoon. damn, my life's so disrupted. =(

i'm gonna end here. tired.

=)

(note: scroll down till u see another note)
LT: not because i need to, but it's because i want to.
LT: i think it's very true for what xiaoLangZi said.. i think that's prob y i have to stick with him
xiaoLangZi: it's ez to find another one..but not ez to find one u love..
Applegal: BE Happy k?not happy will older faster
Applegal: condition i mean
Applegal: you can find better guy with ur condiotn lor
: lying too much is not healthy la ..esp to a relationship ....
: tink u shld haf a nice tok wif him (not quarrel huh)..and try to find out y he lies lor ..
xiaoLangZi: hmm...how lame..he lied abt even such a thing ?..no comments
(note: read them upwards from here.)

watched the "Singapore Idol" earlier on(i adore Sylvester! he's cuuuuute!), tot nana was good, but agreed with what one of the judge commented. "U're a good singer, but u lack of the X-factor."

it's just like describing love. u can be a fantastic lover, yet ur partner might mistake you and thinks that u're just another average lover.
and after so many turmoils' happened in my life, i got to realise several things:
1.) Never take one for granted;
2.)Never take love for granted;
3.) Praise ppl as often as you can;
4.) Dont be upset by small little things;
5.) Love those whom you think you deserve them to love you back.

1. & 2.) I used to take my ex-boyfriend for granted; yell at him, chase him outta the house, verbal abuse him, and all sortta things u cant imagine(i dun do rhyming).
Now, things are sortta like taking a turn-back and these make me understand why we should never take one/things for granted.

i'm NOT trying to imply that i miss those days ard with my ex-bf, but what i'm driving here is, if u feel that he/it is worth your love, just go ahead and shower him with your TLC. never stop loving him/it and never try to compare. u'll only learn from your mistakes, not make worse of them.

I used to think that i love baby too much. and that he doesnt love me AS much. but now, i realise that i'm comparing. and it's pointless. i guess you know it. when u want someone so much, they become a need in your life. and it's time u know that he's the one for you.

it's insatiable; human always ask for more.

3.) it doesnt matter if he/she is putting on too much mascara, a lil tad too much wrinkles, or a lil not too kawaii. (ps.:and grace, i'm not referring to u okie? =) they're just examples!)
just add a lil compliment and it'll fly them to paris!

it doesnt realli matter, it's a white lie. as long as the person is happi rite?

just like earlier on, i told baby he looked purrrfect today, and seriously, it flew him to korea(his favourite country). but i realli tot he's good looking today. =p
but obviously, u have to say the rite thing at the rite time... tell him that he's looking untidy, etc.

it's good to always praise ppl for that lil happiness; to think it's created by you.

4.) this is the point which i'm trying to keep up with... i get upset for the slightest thing, and i think i mite be a bit too petty. yes, i admit, so baby, for my sake, pls change. OOOPPSs. lol. i mean, for your sake, i'll change.

it's bad for me to change; it's for the better.

5.) basically, i'm tired to type anymore. LOL. just love whoever u think they deserve your love and u deserve their love. =) *muacks*

it's love which brought everyone closer; love fills the world.

LOL.

we had a superbly crazy day today. kept luffing and luffing like no one's business. talked crap and luffed at the shit. lol.

but prob that's the way i handle things. when i dun feel happy with something, i'll try and pretend to luff my ass out. but in actual fact, i only want to divert my attention from my sadness. had a quarrel with him last nite, he said he went out to la kopi with his frens, but in the end, he ended up playing mahjong with his pals. i dunno if i should trust him. i called him, he dint answer the phone, and he told me he was playing at that time and so he dint hear the phone ring. our romance is seriously short-lived.

previously the same thing happened to us, i called him for like, a million times, he dint answer, and he told me he cant hear the phone ring. in the end, when we met up the other day, i found out that he was out clubbing (i saw the stupid chope on the back of his hand). and i was real upset. i realli hate liars. no liars in my life.

i condemn liars! anyone but liars

Thank God.

Previously what i'd written was cut off by my freaking fat feet as i accidentally tripped over the plug of this comp. so here's what i've written(quite long, though) :

Went out with baby to city hall area yesterday. we went to suntec's carrefour to hunt for the things which we wanted to buy; he eyed 3 l/s shirts for his work and me, i'd been eyeing on the white pair of slips for quite some time already. after that, we went to see the timings for "Anacondas". it was 7.15 at suntec. and he suggested that we go check out the timings over at shaw tower instead. okie, 5.15. set. so, we walked back to suntec. i suppose the shop vendors recognized us by then. lol. he bot his shirts and my white slips. =) i'm realli happy. =) seriously. not because he bot me the slips. but, i'm just gay.

Again, we went back to shaw tower. i mean, yah, it's just a bridge and few steps away from suntec. lol. but my legs sorta sored. he asked if they(my legs) are soring, but i lied. it's a white lie, anyway. and so, "Anacondas" started. we bot nachos and before the show starts, we'd already gobbled down like, 3/4 of it. the cheeszsze, OH SO GOOD. lol. hmm, i'd grade the show, A-. it's good, but just a lil too short. it's miraculously thrilling and sent my heart pounding for several times. i suggest those of u guys who havent watch the show to catch it SOON.

as for our dinner, we went millenia walk to have our favourite "niu rou mian" aka beef noodles. it's still as amazing. *slurrrps* i asked if he wanted to go over to marina bay, but he wanted to stay in city hall(waste money) and so i suggested the esplanade - marina promenade. but before that, we sneaked into Pan Pacific hotel(for me, yes, again = )... to the 22nd floor. he wanted me to stand near the glass of the lift, but i had a tiny gut. lol. so i dint. but before we left, we took a few pix. and oh, one SERIOUSLY angmoh shared the lift with us. he's dead-good looking. ya noe, i tot he was the famous rugby player who came over to coach like few months/weeks ago. i couldnt remember.
ps.: i saw the friendster's alston guy and his angie gf. he was goddamn short, and his girl was goddamn skinny. i think she had a waist of 12.

and soooo, we trotted our way to the promenade. the whole stretch of it was filled with smooching couples, and so we decided to stop at a place which we could sit and have a tad of privacy. lol. we copied them and oh, the feeling was so good. it was fantastic. lol. then, we decided to leave. oh yes, and i bot a brownie from RockyMaster. it was, alright lah, not very nice. i think it wasnt as good as CoffeeBeans'.

on the train, i commented that i was thirsty, he took out the bottle of tea from our shopping bags and fed me. HE FED ME!!! omg. i'm feeling damn high and exhilarated lor. u dunno the feeling de lar. lol.

okie, we hurried a lil and i guess it's cuz he wanted to catch the last train home; not very good to practice catching the cab back. waste of money. so, i reached home at ard 2330 yesterday.
we blabbed for half an hour on the phone before he met up with the moon-pretty and me, star-handsome.

i realli felt like his pPrRiInNcCeEsSsS yesterday. and i gravely want to relive the romance for ever. if possible.

so i guess, my life wasnt very much screwed up, or is it?

Thank You

to all ma frens who've been loyally reading my blog, i have to say a big THANK YOU to ALL of you.

and i'm alrite already... things are beginning to surface as soon as i typed in my last blog....
this blog is sorta created to let ppl hear my sorrows, my happiness as well as my anger. sometimes i do say a lot of crap and swear a couple of times, but, nevertheless, i'm still the same old me...

i've just went out with him yesterday evening and we'd had dinner over at amk central... he ordered satay-beehoon and i ordered fish and chips and extra fries... *YUM* oh, and i saw Li boon there... my pri school classmate. lol.
it was fun yesterday; sorta like i was crazy rumbling trou my head, telling myself to be happy as he wanted to meet me for dinner... wanted to ask him over my house, but mom was at home, so wasnt able to...
but nevermind, at least we did meet up and had some quality time together. i'm a happy worm. =)

Watashi wa okotte imasu.

i'm just plain sick of things between u and me. i just simply hate u.

have u got any idea how many nights i spent waiting for your call and sacrificed my sleep just for a few mins conversing on the phone? have u got any idea that i wanted so much to meet you but u cant cuz u have to accompany your frens as u feel that u mite have neglected them? what abt me?

now that ur fucking-fucked-up-smelling-balls' boss had transfered u over to sengkang, do u noe how much lesser blardy time we have with each other? u dunno. REALLy, all i want is a bit of time to spend with me. that's just a little request, but u cant read that. that's all so fucked up. i just hate the way u handle things. and i hate myself for being so cheap. DARN IT.

i've spent the past 7 months going out with you, heck my frens, and this is what i get. i've lost all whom i wanted to be with, find happiness in them, and with you, i've lost all. blame it everything on me. i'm just such a cheapo wanting to see you so much. i'm cheap. i'm blardy CHEAP. my name, my body, my mind, my actions, my behaviour, my character, my everything spells C.H.E.A.P to u.

"Its undeniable
that we should be together
Its unbelievable
how I used to say that I'd fall never
The basis you need to know
if you don't know just how I feel
Then let me show you now that I'm for real
If all things in time
time will reveal

One - you're like a dream come true
Two - just wanna be with you
Three - Boy its plain to see
that you're the only one for me, and
Four - repeat steps one to three
Five - make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
then I start back at one...

It's so Incredible
the way things work themselves out
And all emotional
once you know that what its all about
And undesirable
for us to be apart
Never would've made it very far
Cause you know that you got the keys to my heart
Cause...

One - you're like a dream come true
Two - just wanna be with you
Three - Boy its plain to see
that you're the only one for me, and
Four - repeat steps one to three
Five - make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
then I start back at one...

Say farewell to the dark night
I see the coming of the sun
I feel like a little child
whose life has just begun
You came and breathed new life
Into this lonely heart of mine
You threw out the life line
just in the nick of time...

One - you're like a dream come true
Two - just wanna be with you
Three - Boy its plain to see
that you're the only one for me, and
Four - repeat steps one to three
Five - make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
then I start back at one..."

Fatigue- Reported By Worm Ong

Had a few sucky quarrels with baby. and they realli sucked like hell. i apologiesd, cuz i noe it was me at fault. since last mon, we've had a week without meeting each other. and then met again on this mon.
until now, i guess it's pretty hopeless to be pinning that we would meet up again this week. His tests are taking up too much of his attention, draining time and energy from him. all i want was just a lil bit of attention from him as well, can i puhlease have that? =(

Went out with Shiyun, Bohlat, Jeannie and Sharon today... we went to suntec to watch "A Cinderella Story". i'd rate the movie...B-.
The plot was OK. only the cast intrests me. CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY. *slurrrps* it's weird to see ppl flocking to see the show when they've already sorta know the story. but still, prob ppl has too much money to spare. hahs.

it was kinda exciting today; we actually took the lift of Pan Pacific Hotel and, whoosh. it got us high up. high high high up. okie. mayb not that high up there. but i'm paranoid. it's 37/35 floor. i cant remember. it's like, more than 5 times of what i'm presently typing this shit at. and i could see ppl down on earth like they were. sesame. Did i spell sesame rite? whatever. and i was damn scared. REALLI. no joke. it's realli hiiiiiiiiiigh up there.

then i bot a normal gio pink tee. a white colour belt, and a brown coloured long-sleeves whatever-you-call-it blouse. and altogether, i spent a whoishing 60 bucks just today. and the money was originally saved-up to pay my blardy bills. DAMN me. i'm thoroughly broke. i'm penniless. penisless, too. =x

i shall update my wishlist. =)

I'm a worm.

i'm a worm, digging away from my studies. in fact, i'm gonna be dead soon as someone's gonna step rite on me when i'm scriggling my ass away from the books.

earlier on, baby and i have agreed to study at 2330. but in the end... i guess he's dating the pretty moon lady rite now. =) *say chheeeeze!*
hmm, and that leaves me moodless to even study. i dunno. this semester i've been seriously slacked out. but i still just dun wanna push my ass to study.and tmr i have lessons starting from 8. on fir, i've c++ quiz to work on. "at least i dint fuck ard." muahahaha. i hate myself. i tell myself to study, but instead, i come online, eat tidbits, bite on earthworms and etc.

this is me.
this is my life.
completely screwed up.

*shy shy*

when baby came today, i let him read the whole of my blog. i dunno what he feels but, i dunno. i hope he knows what i feel for him. =)

it had been kinda dramatic, but, long story. wanted to break up, but finally i've decided to stop my folly and we've kissed and got back. =)

i love him, i realli do. i'm half-waiting for his call, half-waiting for myself to feel sleepy. =p
*yawns-not* lol.

i realli yearn for his huggies. i love his huggies cuz he gave me lil of it. i'm deprived of hugs. =(

Grrrr...

met up with Emily and Jasmine this afternoon. we talked cock for like, 3 hrs plus, sitting outside Coffee Bean and co,. I've spent 8.10bucks on just a slice of carrot cake and a kids-sized pure choc. I havent seen emily in like, prob, a year or a half? But she's still the same old her, trotting her way with her legs never-gonna-hit-one-another, and the way her hands swing so high up into the air. lol. ET, if u read this, dun humtump me. ty. =)

Hung up the phone with baby. damn, our happiness' gonna end, pretty much very soon. but most prob he's tired.

he believes so much into the lot he's picked over at "si ma lu"; i forgot the name of the street in english. arghs. i dunno, i'm confused. and he has such a HUUUGGGEEE ego. realli. i think he's ego is much bigger than what i've spelt. i dunno. mayb i should apologise to him tmr. whatever lah. i'm having mixed feelings now. i dunno what to say, i dunno what's not to say.

another thing, i dunno why i hate picking up calls nowadays. i'm sick and tired of matters which concerns the use of my heart. i dun want to be heart-broken again. like what i've said to joyln before, i dun even care even if it does sacrifice my so-called friends. or rather, aqquaintances.

and to surayah, i dint mean what i did last fri. i admitted that i was kinda fed-up when we keep asking u guys to accompany us to eat out at KFC when we noe that u dint want to. i noe u dint feel like going there cuz of the distance and etc. and not cuz of another person. but i was fed-up at why we're so sticky to each other.

well, i suppose the green-eyed monster killed me.

I've got a bloated finger.

Hey, it's me(ok, ok. it's lame.)!
i've just updated my blog into a more colourful page, i hope u guys will like it.
now i'll try adding audio into the blog, pix and hopefully, more.

back to my blog. i went out with baby today. i dun think i wanna say things out cuz it's gonna be "pantang" u noe, language in malay. hee. i ate lots of food and am damn sticky and smelly rite at this moment. baby's working, and i'm waiting for his call.(just like always. =) )

oh yah, i think i wanna upload the smileys to my blog also.
see u tmr.

my grp leader, ym, is quite pissed with my grp's slackiness. =x but, we deserved it.
*lol*
we're realli slack.

The Life Of Mrs Chong

The life of Mrs Chong aint easy to lead. i'm waiting for baby's calls constantly, and he invades ever so much in my mind, it just makes my brain not want to study.

okie, okie. i wont push ALL the blame to that. i wont give no more reasons. lol. i just dun feel like studying. not to mention mommy's wish will go down to drain. she wished that i could be in the forces, serving sg, or finishing my studies at a local university. but i noe my limits. i cant do that.

Nothing much has been troubling me so far. Not friendships, not family ties, not LOve. it's the stress i get from studying. but seriously, i dunno why i complain so much, either. cuz i DONT even study. i hate myself. i noe myself yet i cant do nothing to myself. WHY's that so? i realli dunno. *ponders hard*

and i noe i'm being a "female dog" (i noe u noe what it means, i just cant scold myself THAT word. =p), it's been unfair to someone. i shouldnt have did it, but i've had. and are continuing doing it. i really shouldnt. it'll spoil the whole thing we have together. but i just cant control myself. i hope someone realli understands. and i wont give lame excuses for what i've did. sukaya, joyjoy, u noe what i'm talking abt rite? *winkswinks*

finally, hopes that
-i can get over it as soon as possible;
-my studies can pick up;
-sharon gets what she's been wishing for;
-all my frens' happiness will be in their hands;
-my love for baby will nv subside. =)

damn, i've missed yet another episode of "Zhen xin mi yu". =(

Hi, the bored me again.

i'm feeling damn vexed rite now; reason being, i dun even noe how to do my basic c++ hands-on..

i'm feeling useless. called baby for the trillionth time until he answered the damn phone. wants me to wake him up at 4.30 again. and here i am, waiting for the time to pass while others are working on their damn work.

saw toro just now, with sharon. he was with his gf. he looked at us(both of us denied that he was looking at either of us)as if he's trying to say"i've got a gf. so, piss off."

i dunno. i feel that the earth is not doing its job anymore. it's stopped revolving.
=(

Ex-blogger

It's been a superbly long time since i last blogged. mayb a week ago? that's considered long already okie...

but anywayz, Life has been wandering abt in the theme park, and it's got itself settled on the roller coaster. me and baby had quarrelled a few days ago, which brought me agony and irritation. next came my parents, whom completely pissed me off.

i'm trying my best not to talk to them anymore. i dun owe them anything, neither do they. i dun think i am anything to them, particularly, him. whatever. and i will have 3 frigging icas next week. DBMS, OOAD, IP. sucks like hell.

it hadnt been a wonderful week; i've had quarrels with the most beloved ppl in my life. why am i such a person? but i dun think i can be any sick-er than some ppl i've aquaintanceship with them. Fu*k my life.