Stressed yet fruitful.

hi. well, i aint afraid that if mr pang read my blog. i'm sitll gonna post this up.

today was a very hectic day. first, me and lijun went to school at 8 this morning to rush on our project...

next, we did the codings all the way, till 11, which was the time to present. but when we presented, the stupid codings dint work again, so me and lijun had to represent. den until 1.30, i rushed to my entreprenuership's presentation.

i dint have to do that ent presentation, but i have to stick ard with my grp members. but when it was like, 4+, i received a call from lijun. she sounded pretty tensed. and i got to noe that i gotta do another function for the vb project for mr pang. and so, i went from blk D to blk L. which, wasnt quite a distance, but still, stratigically-challenged for me, as i dint have any meals. lijun too. so when i reached blk L, i slumped into one of the comp and began to sulk. i really dint noe how to do the codings.

until i met my GOD. she's cindy, jl's fren. she helped me solved the codes within like, 10 mins man. geez. i have 0% of her brain. why. so stupid.

and the ent teacher told me that i have a high posibility of flunking that module.

doesnt sound feasible to me. just felt a bit unjustice done. i dint study man. shucks. if i have a re-test, i confirm can pass lor.

but well, what's done's done. i can just be conformed to hell if i really flunked that module.

and to sue n joy, damn. dun blame me. i'm a bitch by nature.

i guess u guys noe what i meant. but, bottom line is, i'll grow up. and be more sensible...
so guys, thanks for ur concern... i really appreciate what u guys did for me... =)

confused.

the moment when i post in here, i pose the danger of letting peeps noe bout my status.

but doesnt matter. it'll just be a matter of time.

had a chat with Alan today. he's my ex. and we'd known each other for 5 years. and counting. we got together in sec 2. broke and patch, broke and patch for a couple of times trouout this 5 yrs. well. i should say. he told me lotsa things today, which i dint noe. i realli dint noe.

i told him about him(another) and me. he asked, why am i still like that? he told me to stop criticising ppl that much. and dun expect too much. it felt like ive got a slap in my face. a slap from reality. it seems pretty much that i'm been drifting too much on this sea called life. and i had no directions or whatsoever in this huge place. finally, some sampan came and the kind fisherman gave me some seafood and asked me to quit roaming, and fish.

true enuff. i ode to quit roaming. in this huge area.
and fish. for food that's gonna fill my stomach. the food called maturity and the stomach called brain. finally i realised, that i'm really childish. always mentioning the word. that broke the possible love of my life's heart. i broke one too many. and mayb, God finally wanna let me have a taste of my own. of being lonely.

sadly enuff, i'm confused. mind is running wild. and free.

should i break free? or should i let him go?
tough question. shoot me dead.

i'm not worth to be alive.

awww. yawns.

am damn tired. but doesnt matter, a bit of blogging wont kill.

but yes. my braincells are 90% gone.

and i'll be vanished by then..

watched the lord of the rings-fellowship blah blah. i cried when boromir(or-whatever-his-name-was) died. and gandolf too. so poor thing. courageous and brave. i wonder if i can do the same as they did when i encounter such "happening" event. doubt so. but still, fiction shall remain fictious.

back to reality. i'm braincell-zapped, which is a new term for walking zombies like me. braincell-zapped. sue wants updates. and i wonder, if sue is the only caring soul who's been faithfully reading my blog. okie. mayb not. mayb she's kaypo. LOL. shit, im gonna get a arse-spanking from her. but no, she doesnt spank asses. -winks-

oh yes, and not forgetting grace. the occasional reader of my blog. and some other souls out there. meihui, etc. lol. and meihui and meihui and meihui. well, kept repeating ur name cuz... no other names to put lar.

school's been, not-so-hectic. for me. i dunno bout the rest. mayb they already have their tresses going str8 up abv their head. i realli dunno. i just wanna slack my way throu my poly life. though the way i'm leading it, ppl might just as well gimme a pat on my back and say something encouraging, like, "get a life, arse-hole."

i'm trying hard to. cant u see. but still. i'm in a hole too deep. it's nv ending. nv ask me to work. nv ask me to do my homework. my tutorial. shag my teacher. nah, the last one, omitted. it sounded too obscene. i have no intentions or what-so-ever too. unless, he has a nice -squishy- buttttt and mega-watt smile. den i shag till i'm shagged.

arghs. the abv paragraph is crap lar. serious. i realli have no intentions to have a shag with my *gag!* teacher. i will only do with my favourite one. and my soul, will tell me who. will lead me there.

crap, again. well, will stop crapping
i'm typing nonsense. it's so nonsensical that i find what i typed is complete nonsense.

and letchmi, can you pls improve on ur blog?

us w/o letch


that's me and letch. sorry for the pic. we're gross. but grossly beautiful. lol! just joking.

Ouch, it hurts!!!

Yesterday spelt drama. we almost broke up. yeah yeah, yet another childish act of mine, u might think. but seriously, i noe that i'm always harsh and impatient. anyone kid with me, off u go. and true, i tot i've been taking things for granted from him. but still, that's prolly cuz i seldom do!

but anywayz, back to the story. i was feeling all moody yesterday morning, and when he asked if i wanted to go out with him, i said dunno. he said, 'okie. today i listen to u. tell me where u want to go and i'll bring u there.' and i said dunno. and that got him dissing. like say, 20%. and he took it in his stride. and den again, he said,'okie, u go think abt it... i need to go take a power-nap. meet toa payoh at 3.' and i replied,'i dun wanna go out.' there. boom. 90%, and he said, anything, up to u. and we hung up the phone. i called him again, wanted to say that i want to go out. but he jumped into conclusion that i wanted to break. but den again, i cleared things up with him. so, he suggested to eat out. okie, dude. no prob. but, theere's a prob. my mom;s cooked. so i lied to him, that my house dint cook. and i asked him to go double check. if his mom's cooked. no, was the reply. alrite den, see u at 3.

den, at ard 1450, when i was downstairs waiting for cab, he called. 'eyy, my mom's cooked. come to my house to eat.' at that point in time, i really wanted to kick him at his groin. and make him groan like an old man. i dint wanna go, cuz of his family. complicated stuff, u shouldnt noe. den again, i said to go back to my own to take my breakfast. and den to meet again. and he's pissed cuz he thought i just was anti-social and dint wanna go to his house. but i wasnt. i just cant tell him the truth. and we quaarrelled. but den, we came to the agreement. eat already den meet. alrite. but he msged me: if u're going to carry on this attitude any longer, i'm afraid i cannt take it anymore.

boom. it's like a slap on my face. i tot everything was alrite, but he just "slapped" my face. like that. piak! ouch. it realli hurts. and i couldnt take it anymore. i mentioned the break up. and he said i broke my promise to him. my promised him, not to leave him, no matter what happens. an d he said i broke it. at that very moment, i just wanna quit. realli. go to somewhere rural, and bury myself alive.

and we fought. and he switched off his phone. and i rushed to his place. and he forgave me. ii noe, cuz it's myself taking him for granted sometimes. he'd gave in. i noe.

and then, we went to ikea. and i wore my new pumps there, and incurred some blisters. hurts like hell. and i bought a wall mounted lamp. hadnt done anything to it yet, cuz , when i returned home, it was 12 midn. dad says couldnt drill in anything at the mid of the nite! so, here i am. waiting for dad to come back at 3. to drrrrill it for me. hees. and we watched "Hitch". wasnt as nice as expected. prolly, i'd grade it C. realli. hmmmmm. i plan to watch boogeyman and the one starring jim carrey. the baby's so cute! =) just take a look below!

and my baby too. i love him. and i realised, after so much's happened, i realli couldnt leave him.

In awe.

hey. i'm in awe.

am realli happi today that my project's codings can work at least a bit...
well, and frens, pls dun think that i'm showing off or boasting... cuz it wasnt realli anticipated that it could work at the last min, so that's why i'm very happy... and kept emphasizing to u guys... reason being, i dun think telling him, he would understand it...

hmmm, and yes, my phone's only a week old and yet i've already dropped it twice. geez. TWICE!!!
why??? so poor thing, have a clumsy owner.

went shopping for shoeflats with jinling today, at junction 8 bishan... i bought one and i liked it. and jinling bot a pair with heels. and geez. one look at the shoes is like, one word for it: glam.

blam! and i bought a mug of the lil mermaid for like, 6 bucks. at minitoons. check it out, if u like mermaid as well.

AND! i eyed one long/sleeve at DANO. it spelt:princess. serious, it looked fab. and sweet. but i hesitated for very long. cuz my pocket's reaching doom. and jinling saw a long skirt, which i think looks very authenticating on her. nice. and she was also hesitating whether to buy or not.. so, finally. we decided. to buy. and she went to the stall. damn, cant fit her.
and i went to the DANO shop. damn, last piece, which is the display piece. so, both of us, ended up, with disappointment and left j8.

hmmm... so much for today. and yes, i aint realli angry at anyone, and i still feel like kicking bong's ass. i hate him.

good nitez, ppl.
ps.: i've changed the song to westlife's miss you. like it? ask the song from me. email me, tag me, whatever. it's urs. =)

Throwing in the white flag. i give up.

though this is not the first time. but still. sometimes i realli think, we shouldnt be together. i'm just very confused.

i noe u're sick of me, mentioning the break up and all. but u dint think that i am, too? bet u aint aware of it. well, things are getting way out of hand. i feel that we no longer have the common topics, and feel very distant nowadays.

reason may prob because we seldom meet nowadays, and waiting for ur call is like waiting for rain during the drought season. (someone on my msn list got this nick, adapted from there, hope he/she doesnt mind)

probably cuz i still have the tension from ur family. it realli gonna kill me sooner or later. seriously, like what i've told my frens, if i have a crystal ball, and i noe that i wont be with u in the future, i dun think that i would want to carry on our relationship anymore.

i think u can find a much better gf, and ur mom can find u another girl, better quality than me and prob can marry u anytime. so she can bore ur mom her longing grandchildren.

and i noe that if u read this post, u'll be very upset by what i've said. but all i said, is what my heart tells me to.

Hmmm. bored.

hi, i'm having this boring wed afternoon. not that i allow it to tag along with me, but, wed afternoon insist on following me. no choice, cuz, i dint want it to become my friend. it says that if i ignore it, and do otther stuffs such as watching tv, do nothing, it'll still follow me. so, the choice is not up to me.

hmmm... he's gonna work night shift, and mom, gonna prepare for work in another 10 mins... and dad, working afternoon shift. at least, the wed afternoon dint managed to catch up with them. i'm the sacrificed one. whatever shit.

i'm talking crap right at this instance.

ive bought a new phone recently. i dun realli noe how to operate on it. and the CD Rom they gave along with the box was crap. complete bullshit.

and i think i'm prolly gonna chalk up yet another mountain of bills. i'd spend on ringtones, pix and GPRS usage.
whatever. i dun care. cuz wed afternoon says that i'm going broke at the same time. budget budget. my bank account has only $*** left.
ouch. pinch me. but no need, thank you. i'm already back to reality cuz i feel the pain. with my bank account.

the past two weeks, me and my girlfrens have been skipping OS night lecture. for the extreme purpose of sitting at level 4, chatting our hearts out.
not that i dun enjoy what we did, but i pity the lecturer. cuz there are 6 notti girls who prefer to chit chat than go to his lecture. poor thing.
but i wanna luff at him, cuz we 6 girls dun give a damn bout him. he deserves this. he practically reads everything off the lecture slides. but, doesnt matter.
whatever he's doing, i dun think we give a damn. just do the best we can. lol. right, girls?

and, i get realli pissed off with our H(read:Hash)CI tutor.
well, not exactly i take him as my tutor. but i've got no choice.
the school assigned this bastard to us. and i'm very sure, the school's a bastard itself.

to think they used our money to employ a bastard to teach us. feel like rioting and killing every single one in the school(hunks, girlfrens, and frens are exceptionals.
they aint included in this masarcre).

especially the HashCI teacher, who pronounces H(hedge) as Hash. damn. am pretty paranoid that when i grow old, i might pronounce things the same way*(read: where) as he does. and my poor friend, moon heng, that blardy teacher pronounced his name as, moon hAng. i do think that he has a problem with As and Es.

but well, he's just a pain in the ass. feel like kicking asses. to his exceptionally hard.

the next person's ass i wanna kick is:

well, look out for the next posting. that's all i can say. prolly it's gonna still be him. i dunno. i'm full of vengeance.


and it's gonna rain!!!!!!!!!! end of drought seeeeeeasoonn!!!
YAY! =) no more sun! but, shit. i hate raining when i'm alone at home. ive' got a phobia, cuz once, i was alone, it was ard 6 and raining cats and dogs, and sky was damn dark. and shit, thunder and lightning came and damn, a power shortage in my historical home. geez. i hate it but love it at the same time. =?