Ageing population.

This is crazy. i aint obsessed with social studies. but, it's taught us that dunno-when, singapore's __% of the population will be 55 yrs and abv. and they meant soon. and so here i am, joining the aged population already.

my brains dah... they just dont work as well as before. i've thought of everything to blog, and all of a sudden, they just left me like that. stranded. with the remaining thoughts of... food. FOOD?! yeah, i'm hungry. i cant think. but, i still stick onn to the point that i've aged. quite a bit.

and yes! i did take that berrynice yogurt today. in school. -yummys- the idea of having it in my big clumsy hands just elates me to the max.

alright, back to the "point". i went pulau ubin yesterday, with him and his frens(darren-i'll just call him koh, koh's gf[yixia], david, darren)... and cycled. eyyy, wait. i realised i am really bad in organising the topics when i post/did composition/write. arrghs. whatever. okie, we cycled, and i'm sure we were drenched with our perspiration. n during the track, we cycled through rounds and rounds of mangosteen trees, rambutan trees and durian trees.
and as koh was a resident of pulau ubin, he knew how to hit the fruits down with branches fallen off the trees. and so, some of us ate mangosteens, rambutans. but i resisted some. and we cycled to this place near the jetty and it was semi-flooded with fertilisers. man. the smell of it... -squeeze nose- hee. den yixia and i took lots of pictures of the flowers, etc. and we all saw a super extraordinary phenomenon on the sky. man, the sun was behind the cloud, and there's this lining of spectrum of colors ard the cloud... i donno if we dint notice the sky usually, it just looked fantastic yesterday.

--wow-ed-- and den we went back to the shophouse of koh's granny and bathed. woooot. the water was damn...chilly! ouch. it just sent thrills down ur spine... but it's damn shiok lar. u bath with cold water once in a while. . . =p

we proceeded to munch-munch time at the stall next to it. this is the view in front of us. we all ate fried rice and had coconuts for "beverage"... david and darren ordered one extra plate of hor-fun. but they dint quite manage to finish it. den after munching, we went back to mainland. had mixed fruits for deserts and bf, koh and david ordered fried kway tiao. i was so amazed by bf's apettite yesterday. i think he really can eat lor... he ate the fried rice, fried kway tiao, and he really finished the food man.

bf and me were like free loaders. they were paying for everything yesterdaay, and it sorta makes me guilty. haiz. loaded. for free.

lol. well, in other words, if i wanna try to console myself, they are rich.

oh yeah. and today, joyln came bback!!! to school! how i missed her man. hai. i just am missing her presence every now and then. and not quite used to not having her ard us... but here, she's back! but she can only be with us during breaks...
=(

but better than nothing right?

enuff for today, my hands are quite sore now. from typing. lol

see u again!

=)

hi.

it's sat afternoon and i'm at home, rotting my wayy.

and the truth is, there' actually loads of household chores for me to finish.

yesterday was a busy, busy day for me. i attended school at 10, and the lesson finished at 12. me and my galfrens ate lunch, and played tennis. man, the sun was just scorching hot. and this reminded me. China's temp went as high as 39deg celcius! man. if i were there, i bet i must be couched up in the sofa like a big potato... okie, back to story. we played till ard 3.30, and we decided to leave. i reached home at ard 4.10 and jinling came at ard 4.45... man. when i at home alone, i wished that i actually dont have to go out, hunting for clothes. but den again, the thought of little clothes, made me go bonkers, and i aactually went out.

first, we went orchard. i thought i will, frm now on, stop detesting the fact that it's crowded on weekend nights. cuz it's not as bad nowadays. i kinda enjoyed yesterday's shopping session. =) it's great! it just feels GOOD.

and i bought a belt and long-sleeved tee. jinling and i bought the same, 'cept that she dint buy the belt. and it was ard 2200, that i decided that we go over to suntec, in hope that there's midnight shopping. so, we trottled all the way from somerset to suntec city, and reached there at ard 2230. little knowing that there wasnt any midnight shopping avail. the only on-going and crowded place was the sophisticated bar just outside suntec. man. and we stopped over at Mac's.
i tried that "berrynice yogurt" and jinling had her milo. i tot the yogurt was good. =) *yum-s*

ps.: it doesnt look that appealing in this pic!

if i'm in school, i'll def get more of it again. okie lars. i'll stop here.

OH BTW!!!!! me and some of my galfrens saw DAVID BECKHAM in school! -yeee hah!-

DAVID BECKHAM!

Yawnz. zZzZzZz.

if i have any typo errors or anything, dont blame me. i'm tired. but den again, there's nothing much i can do if u suggest to laze around. i dun like that idea. so, i decided to come online. and i can do nothing much online, so i decided to blog. (as if, blogging isnt to laze ard, wasting time. -_-)

my life, is having its fair share of hiccups now. almost broke up with him today. cuz i dunno why. i'm just getting irritated sooo soooo sooo very easily, even worse than the last time i'd blogged, and i just wanna kill myself.

i'm a scorpio. but that doesnt give me the excuse for breaking out so easily. i think i have to get a clear view and face the music. i'm a person with hyper-sensitive-ness. it's always with me. and now, i'm trying to get away with the norm and shake that off me. it's a plague. it's jinx.

school's started for a month and a half, but it seems like i'm still not into my studies. i dint even print the notes out, for pete's sake. but i cant flunk my acads this yr. if not, i'll waste my 2 yrs in NYP.

hmmmmm... actually i blogg just to crrap. noww, i thiink i'll jusst have tto leaave. i emm tiireed. yyyyyyawwwnnnsss

Yawns.

I'm now currently in school, taking a toil in the DCL lab. the teacher wasnt really concerned abt us, neither were we to ourselves. we were just doing our stuff. sharon went home early, cuz she's having a toll on her abdomen as well. grace is working on her blog, letchmi is listening to some tamil pop songs, and lijun is staring into the monitor that i'm now typing this shit at.

"Yah." was what she said after she read these stuff. anywayz, i've got nothing much to blog on...

on sat, i went for my relative's birthday party. she was 80. and mind u, she still looks as agile as an ape. serious. memories are flashing back. my grandma, at the age of 76, sure doesnt look a single bit like her. but she was as cheerful as the other relative of mine.. and that day, bf dint msg/call me for the whole day. i tot he was sleeping, and i just msged him casually that i'm on my way to the dinner. and he replied, sayying that he was on his way(too) to the hospital. i wasnt surprised. kinda expected, but i dint noe that he'll only inform me so last minn. i noe his intentions, not to make me rush down to acc him there, but den again, not telling me doesnt solve any problems as well..

and yesterday, i went out with sharon, jinling and shiyun. we went orchard and, hell, we spent like, 3 hrs just in far east plaza alone. and i had to leave early as i had to go over his place. but newayz, we bought ourselves each a pair of earrings and took some neoprints. and we just loitered ard the place. and jinling said her fling saw her. melvin. lol. but none of us saw him! prolly he was hiding somewhere and stalking on jinling. lol.

and when i went over to his place, i dint have much to do. i was staring at the tv in his living room, with his entire family. mom, sis, him. and he decided that it was high time to go watch the movie, unleashed, which stars Jet Li and some other actors. i tot this movie was an insult to the Chinese, as Jet li was starring as the Dog of some english bastard. really. but nevertheless, he managed to kill the bastard and paved the way for his own. lol. i'd grade the show... B-. and it's quite short, btw. it's like, from 9.30-11.15.

and there's something that's kinda troubling me. i cant see my future with him. he gambled the 700odd bucks in genting just this april, and he's making a comeback later this june. he said he wants to get back his "deposit" there. but i'm thinking, he doesnt save, and what'll happen to our future? i dread thinking bout this, but i just cant help it, cuz i'm a scorpio. he's 26 this yr and has just a single cent in the bank accnt. what is up with him. does he even consider abt the future? why does he always spend the money in just a few days when he has the money? does splurging to him seems like a hobby to him instead? i'm confused. i reallly am. =(

did i say i had nothing to blog on? lol. well, i was just kidding.

Monster day!

man. today was really hell for me.

woke up at 6 to wake him up and slept for another effective 0.5hr or so. and had to get up to get dressed for work. and this terrible headache struck me and i also felt like killing myself.

had to practically drag my feet to work; they seemed like they were on iron balls. and jl too. tired like hell. it wasnt as if we were still boozed out today, but i just think that we had insufficient sleep.

and man, work starts and 9 and it's still hell for us. though it's our last day of work today, i still feel like gettin' it over and done with cuz my headache is really taking the toll outta me.

and went bugis village for lunch. had laksa and jl had rice. and i bought my sexy man's disc. man. he's got me droolin' babeh!

and he's got such soulful voice, i believe i'm still swooning over him w/o listening or seeing him. lemme show u his pic!

and den, i went home and slept for like, 1.5hrs before meeting bf. went to watch monster-in-law and man! the male lead is a hunk too! and he's damn romantic in it, i wish i can b jLo in that shoW! i'd grade the show A- as it showed the process of how jLo met her man and how his mom tortured her. man. good show though i have some grudges against jLo.

and after the show, went to makan at amk hawker. had western food and headed home next. and my headaache disappeared after seeing him. =)

Wonder-woman.

wondering who's the wonder woman here? it's me.

i'm the wonder-woman. the woman who wonders whenever she can. and after wondering, she wonders.

i wonder what it would be like if i can be with a guy of my dreams, caring, gentle, not an mcp.

i dun really like one of my gal pal's bf; he's too much of an MCP and is not acting like himself. u noe, putting up a front to others. very showy, but has got nothing to boast abt. lol.

i wonder if there's ever the story of an happy ending, even though tiny upsets do help to a blissful couple sometime. but den again, too much of something aint good. too much of happiness is bad, and too much of quarrels are even worse.

went cb yesterday, with jinling and catharine. cat's a sec sch fren of mine and we hadnt meet up for a very long time already. bt she's still very keen on coming with us although she has to work at 10 this morning. kudos to her. yesterday night was great. reach cb at ard 12 and man. it's got to be groovin', baby! had a drink before hittin' the dance floor, and it was, man, hot. bodies were touching one another, but none bothered to give another a look. they were too absorbed in their own dancing.

wwent toilet after 45 mins, and had another drink. it can be really gruelsome w/o the liquid man. went to the dance floor again, but this time, slightly tired. i'm not sure if i'm worn out by the dance and my energy level's lowered drastically, or the alcohol in me is playing a part. went to the washroomm again, and back to the floor. man. that was the time i really felt the fatigue coming through, and by that time, there wasnt good music left. so, we decided to leave the place.

jl stayed over, and we reached home at ard 4. washed up and we chatted, till about 5.45 this morning. talked abt lots of things, till i discovered that i really had no energy left. and so we slept. and i got up at 11 this morning. but had already realised that jl had already woke up... and she said she's heading home, so i dint persuade her, as she said she hadnt slept well over my place..

after she left, i went str8 back to sleep. and i had the most absurd dream, ever. i dreamt of my sec sch teacher, whom i had a crush on. he taught me pe and english lang the time and in my dreams, he was sweatty and wearing the sports attire. he told me that his mom just passed away, and i consoled him and we HUGGED. den we stood up and went ard, holding hands. i asked what'll happen to his wife and toddler, he told me he was tired. man, this dream is damn weird! wasnt any kinda wet dreams, i'm certain of. and i had absolutely NO idea why this dream came abt. prolly like what they say, dreams are always the opposite of reality.

but i have had dreams which are so sweet, i really feel like sleeping and be absorbed in the candy times.

well, i'm ending abruptly here. cuz i need to pursue my dreams(literally) now. so long! =)

Jars of Misses..

Hmmm, it's been quite a time since i last updated this blog.

nothing much's happened, and not much updating to do.

went out with jinling for more than a couple of times a week; other than working, that is. and i've added quite a number of entries to my wardrobe. and yes, i've got myself a bargain when i've got a Guess wallet at less 20%! i bought it at OG, as it's having this hol sales.... there aint other sales for Guess other than OG ya noe. nono, there is. one at Taka Square. but, those designs there are quite out, so... check 'em out at OG instead. . . the sales is ending tmr! so move fast!

and while cleaning up my wardrobe this afternoon, i'd realised that i'd bought clothes which they cant really fit me anymore and looks really gross. and it just incurred to me that i bought them outta impulse. and, they look really off-fashion now. damn. waste my money! mah stupid brains. toot.

i bought a cleo yesterday, and it had an article abt saving up. yeah, i discovered that saving is the best alternative if i want to shop. i cant depend on my parents anymore. yaya, i mean allowance is a neccessity, but, other than that, they dun really provide me with extra blings. so, that's why, i noe that i have to scrimp and save especially i have nights to hit next week. have dinner with jinling and co., meet up with my darliing girlfwens, prolly go clubbing(i desire!), and hit the ktv.

i'm weak financially now, and hope that when my dad gives me my weekly allowance tmr, i'll be able to do those things listed abv. and get them DONE.

so much for now. tata...!

Dissin' Off.

i dunno why. but after i've read up a novel, i've been realising that i'm snapping so much often like the lead female in the story.

i snap up at the smallest irritating molecule, killing the happiness i had in me before.
the happiness is always short-lived and i really have a low tolerance threshold to start with.

i just couldnt think that my parents can be sooooo biased over their kids, and this is driving me crazy. mayb u dun like reading my posts cuz they're always filled with anger and sorrow, and never happy. but this is my life. i ought to search for a new one, drive up my patience level and tolerance, if not, i'll always be the unhappy one.

they say that parents WILL be biased. like the fingers on our hands? they're not equal. some short, some long. just like parents treating kids. some with high respect, but some with really low-loving ratings.

my parents expect me to do the chores in the house, claiming that they're tired and that they should take a rest. i know that working is a chore, and tiring event. but then again, why do they expect me to do it, but not my siblings? i wonder if they want me to tag along with them wherever they go is cuz they cant get my brothers to go with them?

should i not caare abt them? should i ignore them? i feel so stuffed in this house, i need a breather sometimes. but my mom is constantly breathing down my neck by what i should do to the house to contribute the least.

and that IS really getting on my nerves. why do they even not ask my brothers to do it? why do they go out and party and my parents feel it's okay for them? why do i go out and yet they think i'm wasting the limited resources, in this case, it's the money.

i dun see the reason why i'm being treated so indifferently here.
just because imma girl, that doesnt explain anything. i DO help out, yet they expect more than just that.

i dunno what to do else, i need to seek refuge from one. i need a brain-reader, and see what they really want. do they not want me? or do they just want to have a free maid in the house?

this is childish, but that's how i feel. regardless of what u feel, that's how i feel.

tell me that my parents love me. cuz i dont feel so.

Dragged.

dont be mistaken. it's just that i'm weary. not so much now, cuz i've just napped for say, 30mins just now?

and "surprised, surprised!", how surprised that we're back together again. everything's okie b/w us.

and i've started working as a telemarketer, and it seriously starts to stress me out. it's the stress which will carry itself out when one's managed to clinch an appointment, and u can only look at urself and blame it on ur ill-fate and downfall and zero-appointment list.

our in-charge, has over manpowered. the whole office of PhillipCapital, has been invaded of it's half by us, the TM. telemarketers in short. and we got noticed today that we will only we working for 3 days a week instead of 4/5 days per week.

i'm more than happy to be not able to work more than 3 days in a row. but the thought of reduced pay, i'm more than sorrow.

and now, i got to realise that, no matter where i go, there'd always be this person who'd suck up to those in higher position than we do. i cant hate them, in fact, i do admire what their doing.

what these suckers are doing, are actually smth which i cant even start. i dun even noe how to start a decent conversation, needless to say, to get groovy-savvy with the other party. so, i really do admire what suckers do for life, and i only have to blame myself for being so very stupid.

now my comp seems to be in a weird position. the same time i'm typing this shit, it sortta like, lags?

dunno if i typed too fast, so much faster than how the computer can react to.

lol.

not possible lar. i'm just sick in the head. PSYCHED. (this is a new word which i've picked up from, Eye for a Guy2, which were telecast earlier. i dunno it's meaning, but heck. lol_)

so much for today.

read up the next post! =) -bleahss-

To the Moon and Back

After so many months of blogging and constant reminders of him, we'd broke up already. released from the tensions and stress each time we were to quarrel.

however. i'm still not quite over it yet. Afterall, it has been 1 yr and 2 months of being together. i couldnt give it up. mayb it's jus that now that i couldnt do it. prolly "time will wash away the tears and pain..." as what his mom told me.

his mom called me this morning. say, 11.30. but i was still sleeping. still, i woke up to answer her call. she told me not to feel sad. cuz it's just not worth it. said that i'm still young, and prolly when i step into the working social life, i'd be able to noe more people, a lot better than her own son, who'd treat me 101% more than how he treated me before.

but i couldnt think of it that way. i noe i have to face it. he's not my type and i'm just not his. but i still cant give up. i cant just let my relationship which i placed much hopes in just went crushing like this.

but i really have to face it... that we're no longer together. and that we cant be together.

mayb now and then, i'll cry myself to sleep each time i think of him. like what i did this morning. but i dun wanna destroy my eyes. i dun want it puffy and swollen.

prolly, i'll just do something to myself and make him regret that he's lost a good choice.

i love you but i hate u.

Assorted. Accumulated. Clumped.

23rd April' 2005
Went to my cousin's, Lily, wedding ceremony...
It was held around the church in Novena area and, damned. the ceremony took longer than i'd expected. I'd attended one when i was much younger, my mom practically dragged me to it. but this recent one had me sit through it quietly and sobbing so loudly after my cousin said her thank you-s.

It was a difficult task to even acknowledge that the cousin i've visited her house ever-so-often is married. there was much controversy when she wasnt even attached at the age of prolly, i think, 29. my mom used to worry for her and her sister, that they cant get themselves attached. not that they are non good-lookers, but in actual fact, they are good looking, but they're still not attached only till recent years. and Lily's 32 now. Golden ripe age for KIDS!

i feel so happy for her. her husband's a doctor. same age as her. quite good-looking, in a decent way. and very charismatic. i'm so happy for her. really.

and i sure does pity that poor couple, whom cant take their lunch in time cuz they have to take pix all da way!

24th April'2005
Jeannie asked me out. i was shocked that she did.

but anywyaz, i went out with her and jinling. she wanted to buy a phone and some formal clothings, and i wanted to shop, so i tagged along. we went to causeway point(cp) to look for the formal tops. myy. that place is flooded with maternity and kiddos' clothes.

she got herself a top at OSMOSE. a shop which is only meant for the skinnies. i think my body will just rip the whole top off, if i were to don on one. but anywayz. the top that jeannie bought was nice. and she wanted to look for hp. and we'd decided that cp wasnt the right place to look for one, so we head back to our hometown, Ang Mo Kio. and jinling went back home le. with her family.

in the end,jeannie dint manage to buy any phones, cuz i thought it was quite a haste and that she sitll hasnt seen one which has met her eyes. so we ended up getting a haircut.

and mine, which unfortunately looks like this:


25th april'2005
Went to attend Lily's wedding dinner at the meritus hotel. luckily this time around, her thank-you speech dint really drive my eyes to tears. i dun wanna look fugly at that kinda event. the food was, so-so lar.

and prolly by now, they'll be heading to japan. for their honeyymoon! lol. oh btw, my other cousin said thaat lily's husband's family did object to them being together before. cuz of their incompatible job scope. lily's a social worker, while her husband's a doc. what the hell. i hate snobs.

27th april'2005
Went out with sharon for a job hunt. met up at 5.30pm at city hall and headed to bugis. went for an interview at one of the buildings there as an telemarketer. geez. i doubt they'll call. but the pay's damn bagus lar. $8-12 bucks per hour. and prolly even more if we'd close a case. lol. but it seems like money's not coming my way.

dined at shaw tower's tanaka jap restaurant. and we both had ramen. and i thought it kinda tasted like maggie mee. =-

dint taste as good as i'd expected.

and after dinner, bf says that he wants to meet me. so, i went to his place and hees. he shoved me this present he bought for me with awkwardness. "Nah! For you." and i opened it.

it looked like this:


and when i pressed its belly, it would light up:


and sqeak:"MUUUAackz! I love you!"

and i jumped with joy. in my head. lol.
i'm trying to show off now. =p


28th April'2005
went out with jinling and sharon in a job-hunting event. we went to ask for a sales job at bugis. u noe. selling handbags. sharon had to commence the job tmr. cuz they need ppl. but jinling and i agreed in silence that it wasnt a job that we both will want. so we lied that we may be only starting work on the 1st of may. prolly going to turn it down if they really were to call us. cuz i dint like it much.

oh yeah, and we bought t-shirts for ourselves. and i bought an additional belt cuz myy current one is going to rot.
sharon's bought her yesterday. and jinling and i went to the orchard library. it's been ages since i last caught up with a novel. i wanna improve on my english, DESPERATE! i sound liek shit now when i converse in english!

and yes, jinling and sharon saw my hairstyle, they both commented that i look better with the previous one.

-End-

And this is mine. See the difference?

Scorpio - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You're red hot passion makes anyone you date feel extremely wanted Loyalty, to the point of doing anything to protect your lover You are mysterious and charismatic - and you easily draw people in Your negative traits: You tend to be paranoid and think that the worst is going on with your lover You turn cold and mean at the first sign of conflict in relationship You sometimes become obsessed with dates - so much so that you develop jealousy early on Your ideal partner: Someone who will take the time to win you over. Not an easy task! Is able to keep up with your carnal appetite... lots of stamina needed. Reassures you of their love and loyalty on a daily basis. Your dating style: Intense. You prefer to stay in with take out and conversation - so that no one else is distracting you and your date. Your seduction style: Hot. New partners have trouble believing that your libido is for real. You have incredible sexual intuition - you always know what your lover craves A bit bossy. You know what you want, and you certainly aren't afraid to ask for it. Tips for the future: Don't be so secretive with your love - they want you the way you are Let go of your jealousy. Your partner has chosen *you* Spend more time alone, doing things you love. It will help you be less obsessive. Best color to attract mate: Dark red Best day for a date: Tuesday

His Love traits. I'd highlighted those which are true in purple~

Gemini - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go. You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire. You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you. Your negative traits: You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person. You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships. Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems. Your ideal partner: Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested. Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave. An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship. Your dating style: Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy. Your seduction style: Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice. Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet. Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing. Tips for the future: Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast. Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can. Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time. Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Quiz, quiz and more quizzes for me, puhlease!

Visited sue's blog and she had these postings on it... so i decided to try. though not as bagus as hers, i still liked my results... hee.
and yesterday, i watched some dating kinda show on Channel U. even the horoscope guru said that gemini and scorpio coupling is a tough nut to be together.

and i've summed it up. it might not be a good thing IF i really were to get married to him. not for the horoscope's sake, but, seriously, i'm beginning to think if he's the ONE for me. i love him still, but i have to accept the reality.

Cold and lonely.

Well, i dunno what to put for the title. mayb, something sad. so that u feel intrested to read it up.
neways. went to a dinner at a temple yesterday night. saw this guy from my entrepreunuership class. again. for the sec time when i've had that kinda dinner. i tot he wanted to talk to me, but i just acted blur.

i tot my actions were fooley, and went str8 back home and search him in friendster. wanted to apologise for my actions, but it turned out that he hasnt even noticed me.

blardy shit. and i made a fool outta myself! haha. i think i'm from aes as well. geez.

and i took the BTT today. i just hope i can pass, cuz i hasnt really study, and mayb some god will help me with it.

i might be meeting dear later, gotta pass him the puffs. and prolly, i just feel like having a romantic getaway with him, since he promised me some rollin' good, quality time with him.

i dunno. mayb i just have to take what comes my stride. =)

yah. i noe. wrong english used. but whatever. i dun really care. for now.

Ciao~

wow... finallly yeah!!!!!!

the exams are over.

u dint hear me wrong. i'm gayyyy!!!

lol. yesterday morning at 10.30, marked the end of hell and now's starting another round of freaking-out period, which is the anticipated, the exam results.
but well, life's abt waiting and waiting.

went out shopping with my gfs straight after the exams. to jurong point, and i live in ang mo kio. lol.
bought a dress for lili jie's wedding, and a blouse. we had quite a lot of fun. lol. after that, went to meet mom. she bought me a pair of jeans, skirt, and something like a cheong-sam. hee.
but still, life's pretty much intense.

mum just told me that grandpa's diagnosed with cancer, yet again. i thought it was not with him anymore. i'm sad, cuz when i think my grandma has left us, i wouldnt want another to go with her. i might be selfish, but, i just wouldnt want him to leave us.

and i noe, for the fact that grandma might be protecting him from anything now. i noe she'll want him to live happy and free of illness. right, grandma?

and mom's meeting up with a satan at her workplace. i shouldnt say this, but u have to noe. her colleague's a biatch. BIATCH. when my mom asked her if she wants to read a mag, she havent even waited for my mom to finish the sentence and cut it off crudely by, "NO."
now, what the hell is ur prob? mayb u need a man to satisfy u instead. f*cker.

den again, my mom tried to talk to her sometimes, but she just stands far from her. giving my mom tough days to spend. and my mom informed her few days ago that she'll be late for work today cuz she'll be going for a checkup, she dint say anything, yesterday, when my mom reminded her of the checkup, she told my mom"why cant u check earlier?" she said this crap when they're working at 10.30 today. piss off, biatch. u're a plague.

why does some satan still exists in the world? i thought GOD is supposed to rid these demons.

and sure enough, we have one satan in our grp. not quite a satan, but mayb someone who might get on my nerves quite occasionally..
mayb if i just dun care, would things be betteR? if just accepted things the way it is, would i be happier? instead of thinking all "its" bad points, would i breathe easy? not possible, cuz i'm a str8 forward person.

i wont entertain pests who actually takes advantage of us and sit ard, biatching their way.

sue and joy, know what i mean rite? LOL.

enuff's said. sit back, and enjoy the holidays. hee.

below are pix we'd taken yesterday...
At toy'r'us!

da cuties! errr, i mean barney. LOL. no, i mean my fav. gals!


da dingdong who starred in the movie, chicago, as an extra. borrowed the crop to just take a pic.lol



da threesome. lol! my best gals!


my arder soulmate

Now, back at home...

da disgusting me!

hi.

quarrels are never gonna cease, much less talking bout my wrinkles. i do not have wrinkles now, but in a few yr's time, or mayb, even next yr, i might have lines all over my face already.

i dunno why. i just cant seem to study. mugging, to me, is like drinking plain water. u know, the "marvelicity"( i invented this word myself) of coca-cola with ice and chrysanthemum tea just sends me to thrill. but, plain water? i dun take it as often. serious.

it's just plain. and hard to swallow.

sometimes, i wonder, if one is in a bad mood, would u think abt others?

i admit, i'm being selfish. but that's me. but i'm trying to strive. trying to not care. but i still did.

that's me.

and i suck.

okie okie. i dun.

LOL :p

*yawns

sorry for the crudeness in the opening. and i'm really aint into any studying.

though tmr will be the day when doom's gonna visit me. but seriously, i'm just sick of studying lar.

reading up the same sick old materials and suddenly with mah mind bolted to the thought of mr bongg.

yes. and i just posted a bulletin on friendster. well. read it if u have the time, if not, u can say byebye to that post.
anyways. i seem to have very dry eyes nowadays. dunno why. weird.

geez. and i'm feeling lethargic right at this moment when i've napped for like, 3 hrs this afternoon. what is happening to me....????

shall blog in u soon. see ya. -muackz-

Stressed yet fruitful.

hi. well, i aint afraid that if mr pang read my blog. i'm sitll gonna post this up.

today was a very hectic day. first, me and lijun went to school at 8 this morning to rush on our project...

next, we did the codings all the way, till 11, which was the time to present. but when we presented, the stupid codings dint work again, so me and lijun had to represent. den until 1.30, i rushed to my entreprenuership's presentation.

i dint have to do that ent presentation, but i have to stick ard with my grp members. but when it was like, 4+, i received a call from lijun. she sounded pretty tensed. and i got to noe that i gotta do another function for the vb project for mr pang. and so, i went from blk D to blk L. which, wasnt quite a distance, but still, stratigically-challenged for me, as i dint have any meals. lijun too. so when i reached blk L, i slumped into one of the comp and began to sulk. i really dint noe how to do the codings.

until i met my GOD. she's cindy, jl's fren. she helped me solved the codes within like, 10 mins man. geez. i have 0% of her brain. why. so stupid.

and the ent teacher told me that i have a high posibility of flunking that module.

doesnt sound feasible to me. just felt a bit unjustice done. i dint study man. shucks. if i have a re-test, i confirm can pass lor.

but well, what's done's done. i can just be conformed to hell if i really flunked that module.

and to sue n joy, damn. dun blame me. i'm a bitch by nature.

i guess u guys noe what i meant. but, bottom line is, i'll grow up. and be more sensible...
so guys, thanks for ur concern... i really appreciate what u guys did for me... =)

confused.

the moment when i post in here, i pose the danger of letting peeps noe bout my status.

but doesnt matter. it'll just be a matter of time.

had a chat with Alan today. he's my ex. and we'd known each other for 5 years. and counting. we got together in sec 2. broke and patch, broke and patch for a couple of times trouout this 5 yrs. well. i should say. he told me lotsa things today, which i dint noe. i realli dint noe.

i told him about him(another) and me. he asked, why am i still like that? he told me to stop criticising ppl that much. and dun expect too much. it felt like ive got a slap in my face. a slap from reality. it seems pretty much that i'm been drifting too much on this sea called life. and i had no directions or whatsoever in this huge place. finally, some sampan came and the kind fisherman gave me some seafood and asked me to quit roaming, and fish.

true enuff. i ode to quit roaming. in this huge area.
and fish. for food that's gonna fill my stomach. the food called maturity and the stomach called brain. finally i realised, that i'm really childish. always mentioning the word. that broke the possible love of my life's heart. i broke one too many. and mayb, God finally wanna let me have a taste of my own. of being lonely.

sadly enuff, i'm confused. mind is running wild. and free.

should i break free? or should i let him go?
tough question. shoot me dead.

i'm not worth to be alive.

awww. yawns.

am damn tired. but doesnt matter, a bit of blogging wont kill.

but yes. my braincells are 90% gone.

and i'll be vanished by then..

watched the lord of the rings-fellowship blah blah. i cried when boromir(or-whatever-his-name-was) died. and gandolf too. so poor thing. courageous and brave. i wonder if i can do the same as they did when i encounter such "happening" event. doubt so. but still, fiction shall remain fictious.

back to reality. i'm braincell-zapped, which is a new term for walking zombies like me. braincell-zapped. sue wants updates. and i wonder, if sue is the only caring soul who's been faithfully reading my blog. okie. mayb not. mayb she's kaypo. LOL. shit, im gonna get a arse-spanking from her. but no, she doesnt spank asses. -winks-

oh yes, and not forgetting grace. the occasional reader of my blog. and some other souls out there. meihui, etc. lol. and meihui and meihui and meihui. well, kept repeating ur name cuz... no other names to put lar.

school's been, not-so-hectic. for me. i dunno bout the rest. mayb they already have their tresses going str8 up abv their head. i realli dunno. i just wanna slack my way throu my poly life. though the way i'm leading it, ppl might just as well gimme a pat on my back and say something encouraging, like, "get a life, arse-hole."

i'm trying hard to. cant u see. but still. i'm in a hole too deep. it's nv ending. nv ask me to work. nv ask me to do my homework. my tutorial. shag my teacher. nah, the last one, omitted. it sounded too obscene. i have no intentions or what-so-ever too. unless, he has a nice -squishy- buttttt and mega-watt smile. den i shag till i'm shagged.

arghs. the abv paragraph is crap lar. serious. i realli have no intentions to have a shag with my *gag!* teacher. i will only do with my favourite one. and my soul, will tell me who. will lead me there.

crap, again. well, will stop crapping
i'm typing nonsense. it's so nonsensical that i find what i typed is complete nonsense.

and letchmi, can you pls improve on ur blog?

us w/o letch


that's me and letch. sorry for the pic. we're gross. but grossly beautiful. lol! just joking.

Ouch, it hurts!!!

Yesterday spelt drama. we almost broke up. yeah yeah, yet another childish act of mine, u might think. but seriously, i noe that i'm always harsh and impatient. anyone kid with me, off u go. and true, i tot i've been taking things for granted from him. but still, that's prolly cuz i seldom do!

but anywayz, back to the story. i was feeling all moody yesterday morning, and when he asked if i wanted to go out with him, i said dunno. he said, 'okie. today i listen to u. tell me where u want to go and i'll bring u there.' and i said dunno. and that got him dissing. like say, 20%. and he took it in his stride. and den again, he said,'okie, u go think abt it... i need to go take a power-nap. meet toa payoh at 3.' and i replied,'i dun wanna go out.' there. boom. 90%, and he said, anything, up to u. and we hung up the phone. i called him again, wanted to say that i want to go out. but he jumped into conclusion that i wanted to break. but den again, i cleared things up with him. so, he suggested to eat out. okie, dude. no prob. but, theere's a prob. my mom;s cooked. so i lied to him, that my house dint cook. and i asked him to go double check. if his mom's cooked. no, was the reply. alrite den, see u at 3.

den, at ard 1450, when i was downstairs waiting for cab, he called. 'eyy, my mom's cooked. come to my house to eat.' at that point in time, i really wanted to kick him at his groin. and make him groan like an old man. i dint wanna go, cuz of his family. complicated stuff, u shouldnt noe. den again, i said to go back to my own to take my breakfast. and den to meet again. and he's pissed cuz he thought i just was anti-social and dint wanna go to his house. but i wasnt. i just cant tell him the truth. and we quaarrelled. but den, we came to the agreement. eat already den meet. alrite. but he msged me: if u're going to carry on this attitude any longer, i'm afraid i cannt take it anymore.

boom. it's like a slap on my face. i tot everything was alrite, but he just "slapped" my face. like that. piak! ouch. it realli hurts. and i couldnt take it anymore. i mentioned the break up. and he said i broke my promise to him. my promised him, not to leave him, no matter what happens. an d he said i broke it. at that very moment, i just wanna quit. realli. go to somewhere rural, and bury myself alive.

and we fought. and he switched off his phone. and i rushed to his place. and he forgave me. ii noe, cuz it's myself taking him for granted sometimes. he'd gave in. i noe.

and then, we went to ikea. and i wore my new pumps there, and incurred some blisters. hurts like hell. and i bought a wall mounted lamp. hadnt done anything to it yet, cuz , when i returned home, it was 12 midn. dad says couldnt drill in anything at the mid of the nite! so, here i am. waiting for dad to come back at 3. to drrrrill it for me. hees. and we watched "Hitch". wasnt as nice as expected. prolly, i'd grade it C. realli. hmmmmm. i plan to watch boogeyman and the one starring jim carrey. the baby's so cute! =) just take a look below!

and my baby too. i love him. and i realised, after so much's happened, i realli couldnt leave him.

In awe.

hey. i'm in awe.

am realli happi today that my project's codings can work at least a bit...
well, and frens, pls dun think that i'm showing off or boasting... cuz it wasnt realli anticipated that it could work at the last min, so that's why i'm very happy... and kept emphasizing to u guys... reason being, i dun think telling him, he would understand it...

hmmm, and yes, my phone's only a week old and yet i've already dropped it twice. geez. TWICE!!!
why??? so poor thing, have a clumsy owner.

went shopping for shoeflats with jinling today, at junction 8 bishan... i bought one and i liked it. and jinling bot a pair with heels. and geez. one look at the shoes is like, one word for it: glam.

blam! and i bought a mug of the lil mermaid for like, 6 bucks. at minitoons. check it out, if u like mermaid as well.

AND! i eyed one long/sleeve at DANO. it spelt:princess. serious, it looked fab. and sweet. but i hesitated for very long. cuz my pocket's reaching doom. and jinling saw a long skirt, which i think looks very authenticating on her. nice. and she was also hesitating whether to buy or not.. so, finally. we decided. to buy. and she went to the stall. damn, cant fit her.
and i went to the DANO shop. damn, last piece, which is the display piece. so, both of us, ended up, with disappointment and left j8.

hmmm... so much for today. and yes, i aint realli angry at anyone, and i still feel like kicking bong's ass. i hate him.

good nitez, ppl.
ps.: i've changed the song to westlife's miss you. like it? ask the song from me. email me, tag me, whatever. it's urs. =)

Throwing in the white flag. i give up.

though this is not the first time. but still. sometimes i realli think, we shouldnt be together. i'm just very confused.

i noe u're sick of me, mentioning the break up and all. but u dint think that i am, too? bet u aint aware of it. well, things are getting way out of hand. i feel that we no longer have the common topics, and feel very distant nowadays.

reason may prob because we seldom meet nowadays, and waiting for ur call is like waiting for rain during the drought season. (someone on my msn list got this nick, adapted from there, hope he/she doesnt mind)

probably cuz i still have the tension from ur family. it realli gonna kill me sooner or later. seriously, like what i've told my frens, if i have a crystal ball, and i noe that i wont be with u in the future, i dun think that i would want to carry on our relationship anymore.

i think u can find a much better gf, and ur mom can find u another girl, better quality than me and prob can marry u anytime. so she can bore ur mom her longing grandchildren.

and i noe that if u read this post, u'll be very upset by what i've said. but all i said, is what my heart tells me to.

Hmmm. bored.

hi, i'm having this boring wed afternoon. not that i allow it to tag along with me, but, wed afternoon insist on following me. no choice, cuz, i dint want it to become my friend. it says that if i ignore it, and do otther stuffs such as watching tv, do nothing, it'll still follow me. so, the choice is not up to me.

hmmm... he's gonna work night shift, and mom, gonna prepare for work in another 10 mins... and dad, working afternoon shift. at least, the wed afternoon dint managed to catch up with them. i'm the sacrificed one. whatever shit.

i'm talking crap right at this instance.

ive bought a new phone recently. i dun realli noe how to operate on it. and the CD Rom they gave along with the box was crap. complete bullshit.

and i think i'm prolly gonna chalk up yet another mountain of bills. i'd spend on ringtones, pix and GPRS usage.
whatever. i dun care. cuz wed afternoon says that i'm going broke at the same time. budget budget. my bank account has only $*** left.
ouch. pinch me. but no need, thank you. i'm already back to reality cuz i feel the pain. with my bank account.

the past two weeks, me and my girlfrens have been skipping OS night lecture. for the extreme purpose of sitting at level 4, chatting our hearts out.
not that i dun enjoy what we did, but i pity the lecturer. cuz there are 6 notti girls who prefer to chit chat than go to his lecture. poor thing.
but i wanna luff at him, cuz we 6 girls dun give a damn bout him. he deserves this. he practically reads everything off the lecture slides. but, doesnt matter.
whatever he's doing, i dun think we give a damn. just do the best we can. lol. right, girls?

and, i get realli pissed off with our H(read:Hash)CI tutor.
well, not exactly i take him as my tutor. but i've got no choice.
the school assigned this bastard to us. and i'm very sure, the school's a bastard itself.

to think they used our money to employ a bastard to teach us. feel like rioting and killing every single one in the school(hunks, girlfrens, and frens are exceptionals.
they aint included in this masarcre).

especially the HashCI teacher, who pronounces H(hedge) as Hash. damn. am pretty paranoid that when i grow old, i might pronounce things the same way*(read: where) as he does. and my poor friend, moon heng, that blardy teacher pronounced his name as, moon hAng. i do think that he has a problem with As and Es.

but well, he's just a pain in the ass. feel like kicking asses. to his exceptionally hard.

the next person's ass i wanna kick is:

well, look out for the next posting. that's all i can say. prolly it's gonna still be him. i dunno. i'm full of vengeance.


and it's gonna rain!!!!!!!!!! end of drought seeeeeeasoonn!!!
YAY! =) no more sun! but, shit. i hate raining when i'm alone at home. ive' got a phobia, cuz once, i was alone, it was ard 6 and raining cats and dogs, and sky was damn dark. and shit, thunder and lightning came and damn, a power shortage in my historical home. geez. i hate it but love it at the same time. =?

Why?

i've got zillions and trillions of why-s for everything. perceived as only from kids, but no. i'm asking that as well.

anywayz, yesterday, mon, which happens to be V-day, my girlfriends exchanged gifts with each other...i'm sure each and every one of us is happi... =) went to bishan with 'em, had KFC. letchmi was kicking up a fuss as to what to eat, wanted to eat pasta mania in the first place, but couldnt cuz it wasnt halal... den, we're left with only KFC, long john's and MAC. duhs. KFc. had two piece meal shared with joyln... my stomach was restored to full balloon after the meal.. joyln bought me a rose, and i was damn awkward holding it! sue, grace and sharon each bought me separate gifts, and i did the same too...i bought them friendship bands; though it's cheap, but it reps eternal friendship b/w us... =) *frens forever*

den after skool, i asked jinling and jeannie over to my place... did nothing much, watched the teevee and den had a small game. am currently the *princess of gamble* as bestowed to me by him. they left shortly, 3 hrs later, when my mom came home. and sadly, my mom got into an angry-but-it's-her-fault prob. i feel pity for her... angry to her colleagues. they'd ill-treated her. i'm angry.

and when da-kor came home, he saw me using the comp and casually asked if i havent went out... geez. a chinese saying is applied here: rub salt to my wounds.

but i dun realli blame roy. cuz he's gotta work. it's not as if he's out with others. so, doesnt really matter. term-test and his billiard practises has been taking up most of him time. how i wish, he can be invisible to me. so i wont care, think, of him. it really aches my heart. though i know i very much cant compare myself with those things that morally not supposed to, i still did. and now, i'm at home, while he's out at Orchid Country Club playing billiard with him friends. sometimes i realli wonder why must i be a girl. why? a girl has lots of restrictions. :cant go out late, cant do this, cant do that. why? sometimes i wonder am i still in his heart. ouch. my heart is slowly tearing up in pieces. and i can feel the pain, coming from within.

why am i always wanting to meet him, but, he doesnt even give a damn? sue's taught me that i should just let him initiate things, but sue, i'm sorry. i dunno why, but i cant. it's within me. wanting more. but ended up waiting takes up even more.

does friends realli mean so much to u? den what abt me? u want to talk to me when u feel like it, u want to meet me when u feel like it. when u have time but u wont want to meet me. what is all this abt? i'm realli worn-out. tired. crazed. fazed. dazed.

i hate u!!!!!!!

i hate u. why issit that when i need u the most u're not here?
u're weak! why do u always fall sick?! why am i always the one to take care of u?! why am i not the one being taken care of? what kind of bf are u. i hate u.
the most.

physically crashed. and burnt. i dun wanna live with(out) u.
i'm mentally tired. gone. i dun expect much.
from u, i failed. to be a good girlfriend.
i hate to be ur one.
i hate it.

i'm not suitable for u.
find a better girl.

if i'm gone,
will u be sad?

if i'm gone,
will u cry?

if i'm gone,
will u be happier?

only if i'm gone.
things will be much better.

Updates~

hey, i've updated my blog.. like the new look?

just as well, i've cleared the song. the current song playing is "Dont Say You Love Me" by The Corrs. issit nice? had a hard time uploading it, though!

anywayz, enjoy and have a merry holidays!

Eww.

awww. i dread updates. i used to have a up-temp poise, to update my blog. but now, i couldnt care less.

much has been done, much has been said. still, requested by mah girlfwen, sue, i'm to write my blog. not that i'm completely submissive, but i want to, cuz i'm bored. goddamn bored. i slog whole day in the house, yet i've got nothing. i feel so un-used. i feel so outta place in this house. why? do u even need me?

i certainly dun think so. i'm very pissed. so what if it's ur birthday? no big deal. big deal. ouch. and dad asked what to buy for meals today. i suggested noodles. and sec bro, too. and he said he wanted to cook some fried noodles. so, yes. i like them wet. with soup. and, yes. dad went to fried the noodles. what else? yes yes, the green-eye monster has gobbled me whole. but hell. i do care, even if i say i dun. my ONE bought smth for dad, a shirt. and i told dad that it was from him, he shook his head, and said that no need for him to give him a present. in a negative way.

i do loads,yet no good came out from them. what shall i do?

sink into depression? my usual style. but i wont let ppl notice it. only that they'll noe why i'm suddenly so happy.

my heart's broken. and no one can fix it.
i'm broke by someone i love so dearly.
everything of me is chipped. gone.

an angry woman is a angry woman.

An angry woman is an angry woman.

Big F***! me and his romance are really short-lived. i dunno why, i kept dissing off at such minor matters, yet, he's leaving me to isolate. big F***. i'm realli angry. why doesnt he shower me love? why??? why is it that his fren fell "outta love" and he needs to accompany him? why does his gf need his love yet he gives none?

why is he not beside me whenever i nid him? why issit that i have to stick to him like f***? why cant i have some self-esteem? do i have no shame at all? do i even need him to be ard me when he's not? do i have to question myself whether i love him at all? i dun understand why i'm feeling like this rite now.

thing is that: I DONT NEED YOU TO BE RIGHT BESIDE ME.
but i need u to be there with me, mentally. cant i just have that? it feels just as if i'm alone, stranded, dead. why am i still with u? i dunnoe. frens, do not ask me what's happening(though i "want" u to ask), cuz u will noe. but why is he not even asking me? why is he always thinking that i'm kicking a big fuss outta nothing? i throw my temper ard cuz i need attention from u, u blardy idiot! cant u read me? i know we're together for a very long time already, but u still dun understand me.

"You need to shower women love; not understand her. You need to understand men, and not love 'em."

right, right. and so the saying goes. u dun have to understand me. just love me. but u realli gave me none.

jl said smth last night that woke me up. but i dun care. "maybe he's had his time shared b/w u and his frens, it's just that u cant see. and u thought he's not." big fark. but why did i devote all my time to him?! why is he leaving me alone?! why am i being such a bitch to him?!

i realli ponder sometimes, if we dint get together at the very beginning... ... ...

I'll miss and still love you.

Hi, it's me...

many things happened when i dint blog for like the trillionth year. my beloved grandma passed on, i got scolded by wilful customers, etc. it's a relieve for granny that she passed away, but it's pain to all of us whom loved her so dearly. she's battled the illness since last oct, if u'd followed up my blog and if u're a faithful reader of mine. she's so nice to everyone; amiable and friendly. it's really a waste not to have her ard. i will always remember vividly how she'll chuck wads of cash into my small hands everytime she'd see me... and she'll always be the one fitting the bill whenever we go out.

but i guess, she's living great in her piece of heaven, i'd dreamt of her. with a rainbow ard her. my parents said this is good omen.

as for my job, it's a relieve as well, that i've finished the contract and got my pay. i wouldnt want to deal with more unreasonable parents who're damn hard-up for some photo-taking shit. i've wiped my ass off it, and wouldnt want to touch that kinda job for a miserable pay anymore.

and for studies wise, i've been lagged by a week as i've skipped skool for my grandma's funeral, but luckily for me, i think that tutorials helped a hell lot. but sadly, i'm with 2 of my present classmate for the project, which sucks like hell. am thankful for the both of them, but hates it when i cant get paired up with my gal frens. arrgh.

things have been running quite smoothly('cept for my grandma's death)...
i spent my new year with my baby, and i enjoyed it. well, i'm dreading to say those, but still, i seldom share my happiness but i'm gonna give it a try now. i used to think whenever i share my happiness, it's always short-lived and cursed. but hell. i'm trying it now. i'm not showing-off, btw, if u THOUGHT i was. no, i'm not. lol.

the Tsunami's hit the shores of many asian beaches, sending tens of thousands of innocent ppl to their lil piece of heaven. i hope they get the best up there, and hopefully, there would be no more of such disasters anymore. it's just so saddening to hear the news everyday from now, the presenter's telling us the number of those whom passed away from the fatallic waves. and i hope that families of the deceased will grow stronger and independent, which are partly what i'm trying to achieve now.

still, i wanna be thankful that everyone else is still with me, and i'll try to grow up and out.
Taufiq's quote, as of what i wanna say to end these off : i love you all!

Tired.

hey, long time no blog. has been working for the couple of days since the 17th nov, which sadly, is my birthday.

anywayz, i'm working as a "usher" to help facilitate queues and give out freebies for the kids who are attending the disney and frens' show. sometimes it's nice to see them smile after they receive the freebies and they'll jump ard with tigger... but when they cant get into the show, their sad faces shows all and it makes our hearts melt, but we cant do anything...

haiz... i'm ending now.. too tired. tmr may go to reg getting the car license... good nitez. =(

nowadays, i'm really wondering if heaven is making fun of us. it can be sunny and all of a sudden, be so dark and cloudy. well, i'm gonna stay at home today, and am planning to start mugging prolly tmr. issit too late? i hope not. =) anywayz, went over to granny's place yesterday night to have dinner.

when we reach there, granddad was watching soccer on the tv, and grandma was sleeping. and my lil cousin, bryan, asked for my phone and played with its cam and game. lol. and he was such a vain pot, he asked me to take several pix of him. lol. my phone has a mini album of him now.
He's the cuttie.
hees. how's it? is he cute? or is he just a poser? lol.

btw, i went to meet dee after my dinner... i wanted to go over to semb park with him, and i called him at 1930, but he said it was kinda late... so i decided to just go over to ahma's place... but when i was there, he msged me and asked if i wanted to meet him at yio chu kang station. of course i do. so he arranged 2115 and i agreed. i reached there earlier, cuz dad sent me. i reached at 2100 so i waited.

until 2115, he wasnt here, so i called him, and he told me he was on his way. arrrghs. he came at around 2136. i was 68% pissed. realli. and he snapped at me too. he asked me whether i'm being unreasonable as he's apologised and i could actually get angry over such a small matter. it's true. i bite easily nowadays. dunno why, though. but eventually, we got back together and went to the park infront of my house. even though it was raining pigs and elephants, i enjoyed the walk as it was tranquil and serene. and cold, of course. 

i kinda love this pic.  

i'm just gay.

had a couple of tiffs with baby last few nights. i'd been acting like i was damn depressed, and i dint noe what's got into me. we even quarrelled yesterday afternoon. i told him what i was feeling and i knew i was wrong to say that. but that's really how i felt. and he said what i told him was pretty insulting, and that i'm the first to say that to him.

i dunno. i guess i'm just eccentric. den, i went out with jinling and jeannie. and jeannie went home earlier as she wasnt feeling verry good. think she's had a headache. den, jl accompanied me to cut my hair. i was having a headache before that, and was actually hesitating if i should cut my hair. i feel that i shouldnt, cuz it fits my face pretty well. but in the end, as i wanan get rid of the few strands of disturbing and disgusting hair, i decided that a har cut was essential.

we trotted our ways to orchard far east, and settled in a shop with ugly decorations as i opted for a cheap haircut. the lady proceeded to gimme a hair wash and i felt that i was revived from the killer headache. den, a guy came over and asked what kinda hairstyle i wanted. i explained him, and he was like "huh?". and i tot to myself "am i gonna let him ruin my hairstyle?" i was totally freaked out. in the end, the hairstyle he gave me made me look even more like a freak. it was damn short. and i felt like killing myself.

after which, jl and i got our asses at long john's and we ate a meal and at the same time, i asked if baby wanna meet. he agreed. anywayz, the meal was filling but i still managed to topple my cup of coke over with my clumsiness. damn. den, we went around far east to shop shop. i bot a pair of big-pearl-earrings. it was kinda damn big for my ears. but den, i still bot it. jl told me to buy the other one which was slightly smaller, but i was stubborn, what to do. and it realli was big. and so, we walked all the way to heerens. jl bot lip gloss for herself and i decided that it was time to meet baby.

when i saw him at amk hawker, he was with darren. and he looked at me as though he has hatred in his eyes. i was scared and dint really dare go near him. darren left shortly after and we went to check out the showtimes of movies at the jubilee. we decided on "the exorcist" at 2120.

den trotted our ways to ntuc. he asked me to treat him to the drinks and the tix and so i agreed. well, i was kinda reluctant, but i scolded myself. he's my bf, and i shouldnt be so calculative. afterall, he's always been the one who's forking out cash for our every outing. okie, we bot our food, den went to buy tix. after that, went to play arcade as we've still had some time. i won him in car racing but he won me in 2 other games.

it was the first time that we went in together but i was gay. it was fun playing with him. it was den time for the movvie. and the show was. damn. just like my hair. outta point. further more, it was damn cold inside the cinema... and i went out shivering. he asked for a hug and i agreed. den we walked all the way back home... =) and after i got home, he dint msg me or anything, so i suppose he was asleep already. i msged him and told him that he neednt call me anymore, so that he can go back to sleep. he replied "ok. u sleep early too. u go check your bag, i left smth inside." argghs...i tot he really forgot to take something back and when i went to see, OMG. there was 2 ten-dollar notes in there. i was shocked. i called him and asked him when he placed it in, he dint wanna say. den i asked him issit when we hugged? he admitted and said that he couldnt bear to lemme do the paying. damn, he can be such a sweetie at times. =) salutes.

Good Morning!

hihi... blogging to kill time, meeting joy at 10.50, so there's still quite some time away from that...

anywayz, told u that sleeping cuttie dint call rite? in the end he called me at 1.30 later in the night. lol. i was half pissed that he woke me up but quite glee as well, as at least he wanted to talk to me... heee... he told me that he'd fell asleep after he'd reached home and had a bit of his dinner... and he complained that he was feeling unwell; body warm, and throat hurt like hell. but he returned to work today... poor thing, i hope he's okie...

dad is like dear. he's transversing in so many places... to work, to send me to skool, to visit my grandparents. and mom, likewise. but her working time is too long, she cant visit them. i salute them. i love you.

Arghs.

damn angry with this webbie. i wanna upload some pix onto my page also cannot. argghs...

anywayz, i was trying to do my use cases for OOAD and meantime, watiing for his call. but until now, seems like almost impossible for the call. duh. i'll go sleep.

i'm darn tired. but what to do? the stupid me came back again. and the stupid me actually waited for the sleeping cuttie to call. anywayz, he was quite satisfied for what i've did for his proj when he came over on sat. and i'm satisfied by his satisfication. lol. realli.

i want more love. i want more energy. i want more time. i want more more smartasses!!!

Sumptuous.

Hmm, had my cousin's wedding dinner yesterday over at Raffles the Plaza... I was shocked when i entered the ballroom, cuz it was dimly lit with blue lazer lights on each and every of the 50-odd tables. The ambience was good, and there were quite a lot of great lookers ard... i was sitted with my family and most of my younger cousins...

before the dinner, we sent my grandfather to Alexandra Hosp., he was diagnosed with probable streak of cancer. but the doctor said an operation is not needed as the cancer cells might not be able to survive in my granddad's body as he's too under-nuitrition. LOL. as for my grandma, she's had complains that bolts of pains were sending trou her body before my uncle sent her in. she was stubborn and reluctant to go there, but my 2nd uncle managed to persuade the adamantine grandma of mine to visit the doc's.

the doc decided to check on her kidneys and lungs. but she's still stubborn. she's afraid that she mite live in pain forever after she'd operated and she'd rather live with the illness from now. haiz. why? i had times when my tears wanted to drop when i saw them, but i held it back. i cant influence my mother. she's far too better at crying than me. so, we head off to the dinner. dad was pissed with the traffic, though i'm not very sure why. i dun understand why he can get so pissed with the other drivers, and just keeps swearing his way. weird dad i have. but i love him still. im very much involved with my family, i've finally found love from every of my family since my 17 years of life.

as for dear, i guess he might be busy again with his exams coming up. he complained that he's damn stressed, and i know it. he worked night shift last nite, came home for like, 3 hrs and spent 2 hours napping i suppose. after which, he left home to do project with his group. he gotta wake up at 0545 tmr morning. sometimes, i felt sympathy for him... he's got too little time for himself. he gave time for me, his work, and his studies. i wish we'd have more time in a day, so he can rest more. and i'm realli used to it already... i realli dun mind and can understand what he's going through. mayb i'm too selfish in the past. but i'm still a lil bit upset that he cant spend more time with me. haiz. why am i like that?

but anywayz, i wanna go to geylang serai at this very moment. i wanna go get the influence from surayah tmr. lol. i want cookiiieeesss annnnddd cccrrreeeaaammm!! mmmmuuuummmmmmmmyyy!!!

I SCREAM INJUSTICE!

Jerry, sly, maia, leandra, and daphne were in group A. david, taufiq, olinda, chris were in group B. "who's gonna go out?" i tot group A was going out cuz of daphne and JERRY. but, group B were in the danger zone. okay, doesnt matter, it mite be chris who's going out. but HELL! it was david! not that i'm some kinda fan of his, but!!! WHAT?! i think singaporeans are still voting for the better lookers and not those talents!!! DAMN.

i think JERRY might not be out as he praised and thanked GOD in front of everyone. not that i dislike GOD or anything, but, i think the christians out there might be helping him out with the voting! i dun condemn christians, but hell! do they have foresight! DAMN. i think jerry should be OUT OUT OUT! PUI! i despice him!

Jerry sings like SHIT! worse than constipating!!! HE'S JUST SHIT!

yucks. seeing him on the tv set actually dirties my screen. yuck! *pui!*

I SCREAM INJUSTICE!

Life of a boreder

Hi. yup, i think u've guessed it correct. i got called up by the Cpp lect this wed again. duhs. it's normal, dei. he informed the whole lot of us that there's a re-test on next wed. sheesh. it sucks. realli. but still after skool that day, my girlfrens and i went out to causeway point to dine at delifrance's. i ate the chicken sandwich, and oh, damn, i'm drooling now thinking back.

lol. suresh tot of the idea of dining there and we all agreed as we wanted to celebrate hers and gracie's bdae... and after the meal, we went to john little to buy gracie's bdae pressie.. we bot her a perfume and handed it over to her today cuz we mite not be able to see her tmr... "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRACE! *muacks*" i dunno if she's happi with the gift or not, but i hope she is... lol. i bot a edt for baby too. and i hope he likes it. but i dun think he's put on yet.

i've been working on his proj from 7 till now. and i finished part of what he wanted. he's gonna pass me somemore tmr. damn, i dun think i that hardworking on my own project. *luffs*

sat, i've got to attend my cousin's wedding. another one at the end of this month, and another one at the end of this year. wow. guess my parents' going broke. and i'm following their footsteps. i'm broke too. hee. i'm left with...wait! i tot i still have 5 bucks left, but im wrong. i'm left with nothing. i have to pay back suresh and sarong tmr. damn. damn. damn.

and all of a sudden, i dread going to wedding dinners. it's messing up mah brain. i'm confused does not know what to wear cuz my body's bulging. skirt? blouse? heels? damn. it's taking my life away.

it's slowly draining life away from me.
and it's not gonna end until end of the year.

Hi.

i'm been at home the whole day. it's a saturday alrite, and i'm at home. i dun blame anyone, but myself, for dedicating everything of mine to him. he asked if we wanted to meet, but i rejected him cuz he mite be doing it as he felt that i wanted it. but hell, i told him that i want to meet him tmr instead as we can have the whole day to ourselves tmr.

whatever. i've read this article abt horoscopes, and it's oh-so-true. abt gemini, that is. it's quite long, though. wanted to put it up as a file, but u guys may have to dl it, so i decided that i paste the article up. only abt gemini. i'll highlight whatever i think it's true abt him.

GEMINI MAN
A man in this Zodiac has a thin long and proportional face. He has a high forehead and very cleaver. He looks like he can not stand or sit still, a very fast person. His nose is just right in size, thin lips, talk fast and very talkative. He can think faster than he talks, but once he starts talking, he will talk non stop as if god has gifted him with that special talk machine mouth. He likes to cut his hair short and he is very athletic. He is a tall, slim and every movement of his is "Fast" or nearly calls "Hyperactive".
He has long fingers and always tapping on table or moving his finger as if he is trying to grab something. He is the type, who will write or scribble on paper, he never stays still. His hair always well comb or neat. He will spent a long time to comb his hair. He will keep his manicure and pedicure clean. He is a well dress and clean guy, so if you like cleanliness, you will love him.
He will keep all his cloth in big closet, and never throw away even shirts he never wear any more, but yet he still keep buying new cloths and make sure he is in style. He knows how to dress well even with a low budget. He get bored easily with his favorite cloths, cologne. He is very picky, so soap and his cologne even have to be in the same trend or same scent.
If you date this kind of guy, you might think you are dating 2 guys, you will have to guess his feeling and emotion. Is he doing thing because it is a duty, or is it because he wants to?
He changes his mind as fast as he changes a new pairs of shoes. He can pick up
a book and roughly read through and understand it's contents, so if you see a Gemini man who reads the whole book, then he must be influenced by other Zodiac.
He hates to set fix schedule, and dislike a boring same routine job. He could hardly be on time, and can only keep time if it is complete important and necessary. He does not come late because he forgets, but because he always find other attractions along the way. He likes to act opposite to what he wants to do. He is a very good speaker and makes a very good politician. He can easily persuade other people and well presented himself in public, a real charmer. If he is a writer, he will write the best seller.
He always searches for truth and constantly studies himself. He never satisfies about his fame, his reputation or money, because he thinks he deserved more. He will keep searching even he is not sure what is his ultimate satisfaction.
Woman in love normally wants to feel secure and stable, but if you fall in love with this guy be prepared to be alone. He will come to see you when he feels like it. He won't even know how he spent his day everyday, so adjust yourself if you love him.
Dating him is like dating 2 guys, so today he can tell you how much he loves you, but tomorrow he might call you to cancel your date. When he upsets, he could tell you he hates your dress, even it is the same dress he used to tell you make you look very sexy. Do not ask him why he is that's way for he won't have any explanations too. When he is back to normal mood, he will take you out again and forget what just happened.
You can not expect him to be the same person now, and forever. His changes will depend on you, for better or for worst. If you like to take risk and dare for challenges, you will get along with him fine. He keeps his emotional secretly as if hiding it, so you will not be able to see if he is in love with you, or does not give a damn at all, but be calm and patient.
He will never leave you if he thinks you are a puzzle, then he will spent times solving this puzzle.

it's so damn true. he's been working and working so hard for the opening on mon, that he forgot me. i'm quite sad, but in fact, i'm quite getting used to the fact that i'm 65 percent alone nowadays. but i cant blame him. cuz he's such a workaholic. working his ass trou the day and into the nite, and me, submitting my brain cells into bottles of misses.