confused.

the moment when i post in here, i pose the danger of letting peeps noe bout my status.

but doesnt matter. it'll just be a matter of time.

had a chat with Alan today. he's my ex. and we'd known each other for 5 years. and counting. we got together in sec 2. broke and patch, broke and patch for a couple of times trouout this 5 yrs. well. i should say. he told me lotsa things today, which i dint noe. i realli dint noe.

i told him about him(another) and me. he asked, why am i still like that? he told me to stop criticising ppl that much. and dun expect too much. it felt like ive got a slap in my face. a slap from reality. it seems pretty much that i'm been drifting too much on this sea called life. and i had no directions or whatsoever in this huge place. finally, some sampan came and the kind fisherman gave me some seafood and asked me to quit roaming, and fish.

true enuff. i ode to quit roaming. in this huge area.
and fish. for food that's gonna fill my stomach. the food called maturity and the stomach called brain. finally i realised, that i'm really childish. always mentioning the word. that broke the possible love of my life's heart. i broke one too many. and mayb, God finally wanna let me have a taste of my own. of being lonely.

sadly enuff, i'm confused. mind is running wild. and free.

should i break free? or should i let him go?
tough question. shoot me dead.

i'm not worth to be alive.