Monster day!

man. today was really hell for me.

woke up at 6 to wake him up and slept for another effective 0.5hr or so. and had to get up to get dressed for work. and this terrible headache struck me and i also felt like killing myself.

had to practically drag my feet to work; they seemed like they were on iron balls. and jl too. tired like hell. it wasnt as if we were still boozed out today, but i just think that we had insufficient sleep.

and man, work starts and 9 and it's still hell for us. though it's our last day of work today, i still feel like gettin' it over and done with cuz my headache is really taking the toll outta me.

and went bugis village for lunch. had laksa and jl had rice. and i bought my sexy man's disc. man. he's got me droolin' babeh!

and he's got such soulful voice, i believe i'm still swooning over him w/o listening or seeing him. lemme show u his pic!

and den, i went home and slept for like, 1.5hrs before meeting bf. went to watch monster-in-law and man! the male lead is a hunk too! and he's damn romantic in it, i wish i can b jLo in that shoW! i'd grade the show A- as it showed the process of how jLo met her man and how his mom tortured her. man. good show though i have some grudges against jLo.

and after the show, went to makan at amk hawker. had western food and headed home next. and my headaache disappeared after seeing him. =)

Wonder-woman.

wondering who's the wonder woman here? it's me.

i'm the wonder-woman. the woman who wonders whenever she can. and after wondering, she wonders.

i wonder what it would be like if i can be with a guy of my dreams, caring, gentle, not an mcp.

i dun really like one of my gal pal's bf; he's too much of an MCP and is not acting like himself. u noe, putting up a front to others. very showy, but has got nothing to boast abt. lol.

i wonder if there's ever the story of an happy ending, even though tiny upsets do help to a blissful couple sometime. but den again, too much of something aint good. too much of happiness is bad, and too much of quarrels are even worse.

went cb yesterday, with jinling and catharine. cat's a sec sch fren of mine and we hadnt meet up for a very long time already. bt she's still very keen on coming with us although she has to work at 10 this morning. kudos to her. yesterday night was great. reach cb at ard 12 and man. it's got to be groovin', baby! had a drink before hittin' the dance floor, and it was, man, hot. bodies were touching one another, but none bothered to give another a look. they were too absorbed in their own dancing.

wwent toilet after 45 mins, and had another drink. it can be really gruelsome w/o the liquid man. went to the dance floor again, but this time, slightly tired. i'm not sure if i'm worn out by the dance and my energy level's lowered drastically, or the alcohol in me is playing a part. went to the washroomm again, and back to the floor. man. that was the time i really felt the fatigue coming through, and by that time, there wasnt good music left. so, we decided to leave the place.

jl stayed over, and we reached home at ard 4. washed up and we chatted, till about 5.45 this morning. talked abt lots of things, till i discovered that i really had no energy left. and so we slept. and i got up at 11 this morning. but had already realised that jl had already woke up... and she said she's heading home, so i dint persuade her, as she said she hadnt slept well over my place..

after she left, i went str8 back to sleep. and i had the most absurd dream, ever. i dreamt of my sec sch teacher, whom i had a crush on. he taught me pe and english lang the time and in my dreams, he was sweatty and wearing the sports attire. he told me that his mom just passed away, and i consoled him and we HUGGED. den we stood up and went ard, holding hands. i asked what'll happen to his wife and toddler, he told me he was tired. man, this dream is damn weird! wasnt any kinda wet dreams, i'm certain of. and i had absolutely NO idea why this dream came abt. prolly like what they say, dreams are always the opposite of reality.

but i have had dreams which are so sweet, i really feel like sleeping and be absorbed in the candy times.

well, i'm ending abruptly here. cuz i need to pursue my dreams(literally) now. so long! =)

Jars of Misses..

Hmmm, it's been quite a time since i last updated this blog.

nothing much's happened, and not much updating to do.

went out with jinling for more than a couple of times a week; other than working, that is. and i've added quite a number of entries to my wardrobe. and yes, i've got myself a bargain when i've got a Guess wallet at less 20%! i bought it at OG, as it's having this hol sales.... there aint other sales for Guess other than OG ya noe. nono, there is. one at Taka Square. but, those designs there are quite out, so... check 'em out at OG instead. . . the sales is ending tmr! so move fast!

and while cleaning up my wardrobe this afternoon, i'd realised that i'd bought clothes which they cant really fit me anymore and looks really gross. and it just incurred to me that i bought them outta impulse. and, they look really off-fashion now. damn. waste my money! mah stupid brains. toot.

i bought a cleo yesterday, and it had an article abt saving up. yeah, i discovered that saving is the best alternative if i want to shop. i cant depend on my parents anymore. yaya, i mean allowance is a neccessity, but, other than that, they dun really provide me with extra blings. so, that's why, i noe that i have to scrimp and save especially i have nights to hit next week. have dinner with jinling and co., meet up with my darliing girlfwens, prolly go clubbing(i desire!), and hit the ktv.

i'm weak financially now, and hope that when my dad gives me my weekly allowance tmr, i'll be able to do those things listed abv. and get them DONE.

so much for now. tata...!

Dissin' Off.

i dunno why. but after i've read up a novel, i've been realising that i'm snapping so much often like the lead female in the story.

i snap up at the smallest irritating molecule, killing the happiness i had in me before.
the happiness is always short-lived and i really have a low tolerance threshold to start with.

i just couldnt think that my parents can be sooooo biased over their kids, and this is driving me crazy. mayb u dun like reading my posts cuz they're always filled with anger and sorrow, and never happy. but this is my life. i ought to search for a new one, drive up my patience level and tolerance, if not, i'll always be the unhappy one.

they say that parents WILL be biased. like the fingers on our hands? they're not equal. some short, some long. just like parents treating kids. some with high respect, but some with really low-loving ratings.

my parents expect me to do the chores in the house, claiming that they're tired and that they should take a rest. i know that working is a chore, and tiring event. but then again, why do they expect me to do it, but not my siblings? i wonder if they want me to tag along with them wherever they go is cuz they cant get my brothers to go with them?

should i not caare abt them? should i ignore them? i feel so stuffed in this house, i need a breather sometimes. but my mom is constantly breathing down my neck by what i should do to the house to contribute the least.

and that IS really getting on my nerves. why do they even not ask my brothers to do it? why do they go out and party and my parents feel it's okay for them? why do i go out and yet they think i'm wasting the limited resources, in this case, it's the money.

i dun see the reason why i'm being treated so indifferently here.
just because imma girl, that doesnt explain anything. i DO help out, yet they expect more than just that.

i dunno what to do else, i need to seek refuge from one. i need a brain-reader, and see what they really want. do they not want me? or do they just want to have a free maid in the house?

this is childish, but that's how i feel. regardless of what u feel, that's how i feel.

tell me that my parents love me. cuz i dont feel so.

Dragged.

dont be mistaken. it's just that i'm weary. not so much now, cuz i've just napped for say, 30mins just now?

and "surprised, surprised!", how surprised that we're back together again. everything's okie b/w us.

and i've started working as a telemarketer, and it seriously starts to stress me out. it's the stress which will carry itself out when one's managed to clinch an appointment, and u can only look at urself and blame it on ur ill-fate and downfall and zero-appointment list.

our in-charge, has over manpowered. the whole office of PhillipCapital, has been invaded of it's half by us, the TM. telemarketers in short. and we got noticed today that we will only we working for 3 days a week instead of 4/5 days per week.

i'm more than happy to be not able to work more than 3 days in a row. but the thought of reduced pay, i'm more than sorrow.

and now, i got to realise that, no matter where i go, there'd always be this person who'd suck up to those in higher position than we do. i cant hate them, in fact, i do admire what their doing.

what these suckers are doing, are actually smth which i cant even start. i dun even noe how to start a decent conversation, needless to say, to get groovy-savvy with the other party. so, i really do admire what suckers do for life, and i only have to blame myself for being so very stupid.

now my comp seems to be in a weird position. the same time i'm typing this shit, it sortta like, lags?

dunno if i typed too fast, so much faster than how the computer can react to.

lol.

not possible lar. i'm just sick in the head. PSYCHED. (this is a new word which i've picked up from, Eye for a Guy2, which were telecast earlier. i dunno it's meaning, but heck. lol_)

so much for today.

read up the next post! =) -bleahss-

To the Moon and Back

After so many months of blogging and constant reminders of him, we'd broke up already. released from the tensions and stress each time we were to quarrel.

however. i'm still not quite over it yet. Afterall, it has been 1 yr and 2 months of being together. i couldnt give it up. mayb it's jus that now that i couldnt do it. prolly "time will wash away the tears and pain..." as what his mom told me.

his mom called me this morning. say, 11.30. but i was still sleeping. still, i woke up to answer her call. she told me not to feel sad. cuz it's just not worth it. said that i'm still young, and prolly when i step into the working social life, i'd be able to noe more people, a lot better than her own son, who'd treat me 101% more than how he treated me before.

but i couldnt think of it that way. i noe i have to face it. he's not my type and i'm just not his. but i still cant give up. i cant just let my relationship which i placed much hopes in just went crushing like this.

but i really have to face it... that we're no longer together. and that we cant be together.

mayb now and then, i'll cry myself to sleep each time i think of him. like what i did this morning. but i dun wanna destroy my eyes. i dun want it puffy and swollen.

prolly, i'll just do something to myself and make him regret that he's lost a good choice.

i love you but i hate u.

Assorted. Accumulated. Clumped.

23rd April' 2005
Went to my cousin's, Lily, wedding ceremony...
It was held around the church in Novena area and, damned. the ceremony took longer than i'd expected. I'd attended one when i was much younger, my mom practically dragged me to it. but this recent one had me sit through it quietly and sobbing so loudly after my cousin said her thank you-s.

It was a difficult task to even acknowledge that the cousin i've visited her house ever-so-often is married. there was much controversy when she wasnt even attached at the age of prolly, i think, 29. my mom used to worry for her and her sister, that they cant get themselves attached. not that they are non good-lookers, but in actual fact, they are good looking, but they're still not attached only till recent years. and Lily's 32 now. Golden ripe age for KIDS!

i feel so happy for her. her husband's a doctor. same age as her. quite good-looking, in a decent way. and very charismatic. i'm so happy for her. really.

and i sure does pity that poor couple, whom cant take their lunch in time cuz they have to take pix all da way!

24th April'2005
Jeannie asked me out. i was shocked that she did.

but anywyaz, i went out with her and jinling. she wanted to buy a phone and some formal clothings, and i wanted to shop, so i tagged along. we went to causeway point(cp) to look for the formal tops. myy. that place is flooded with maternity and kiddos' clothes.

she got herself a top at OSMOSE. a shop which is only meant for the skinnies. i think my body will just rip the whole top off, if i were to don on one. but anywayz. the top that jeannie bought was nice. and she wanted to look for hp. and we'd decided that cp wasnt the right place to look for one, so we head back to our hometown, Ang Mo Kio. and jinling went back home le. with her family.

in the end,jeannie dint manage to buy any phones, cuz i thought it was quite a haste and that she sitll hasnt seen one which has met her eyes. so we ended up getting a haircut.

and mine, which unfortunately looks like this:


25th april'2005
Went to attend Lily's wedding dinner at the meritus hotel. luckily this time around, her thank-you speech dint really drive my eyes to tears. i dun wanna look fugly at that kinda event. the food was, so-so lar.

and prolly by now, they'll be heading to japan. for their honeyymoon! lol. oh btw, my other cousin said thaat lily's husband's family did object to them being together before. cuz of their incompatible job scope. lily's a social worker, while her husband's a doc. what the hell. i hate snobs.

27th april'2005
Went out with sharon for a job hunt. met up at 5.30pm at city hall and headed to bugis. went for an interview at one of the buildings there as an telemarketer. geez. i doubt they'll call. but the pay's damn bagus lar. $8-12 bucks per hour. and prolly even more if we'd close a case. lol. but it seems like money's not coming my way.

dined at shaw tower's tanaka jap restaurant. and we both had ramen. and i thought it kinda tasted like maggie mee. =-

dint taste as good as i'd expected.

and after dinner, bf says that he wants to meet me. so, i went to his place and hees. he shoved me this present he bought for me with awkwardness. "Nah! For you." and i opened it.

it looked like this:


and when i pressed its belly, it would light up:


and sqeak:"MUUUAackz! I love you!"

and i jumped with joy. in my head. lol.
i'm trying to show off now. =p


28th April'2005
went out with jinling and sharon in a job-hunting event. we went to ask for a sales job at bugis. u noe. selling handbags. sharon had to commence the job tmr. cuz they need ppl. but jinling and i agreed in silence that it wasnt a job that we both will want. so we lied that we may be only starting work on the 1st of may. prolly going to turn it down if they really were to call us. cuz i dint like it much.

oh yeah, and we bought t-shirts for ourselves. and i bought an additional belt cuz myy current one is going to rot.
sharon's bought her yesterday. and jinling and i went to the orchard library. it's been ages since i last caught up with a novel. i wanna improve on my english, DESPERATE! i sound liek shit now when i converse in english!

and yes, jinling and sharon saw my hairstyle, they both commented that i look better with the previous one.

-End-

And this is mine. See the difference?

Scorpio - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You're red hot passion makes anyone you date feel extremely wanted Loyalty, to the point of doing anything to protect your lover You are mysterious and charismatic - and you easily draw people in Your negative traits: You tend to be paranoid and think that the worst is going on with your lover You turn cold and mean at the first sign of conflict in relationship You sometimes become obsessed with dates - so much so that you develop jealousy early on Your ideal partner: Someone who will take the time to win you over. Not an easy task! Is able to keep up with your carnal appetite... lots of stamina needed. Reassures you of their love and loyalty on a daily basis. Your dating style: Intense. You prefer to stay in with take out and conversation - so that no one else is distracting you and your date. Your seduction style: Hot. New partners have trouble believing that your libido is for real. You have incredible sexual intuition - you always know what your lover craves A bit bossy. You know what you want, and you certainly aren't afraid to ask for it. Tips for the future: Don't be so secretive with your love - they want you the way you are Let go of your jealousy. Your partner has chosen *you* Spend more time alone, doing things you love. It will help you be less obsessive. Best color to attract mate: Dark red Best day for a date: Tuesday

His Love traits. I'd highlighted those which are true in purple~

Gemini - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go. You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire. You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you. Your negative traits: You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person. You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships. Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems. Your ideal partner: Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested. Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave. An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship. Your dating style: Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy. Your seduction style: Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice. Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet. Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing. Tips for the future: Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast. Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can. Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time. Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Quiz, quiz and more quizzes for me, puhlease!

Visited sue's blog and she had these postings on it... so i decided to try. though not as bagus as hers, i still liked my results... hee.
and yesterday, i watched some dating kinda show on Channel U. even the horoscope guru said that gemini and scorpio coupling is a tough nut to be together.

and i've summed it up. it might not be a good thing IF i really were to get married to him. not for the horoscope's sake, but, seriously, i'm beginning to think if he's the ONE for me. i love him still, but i have to accept the reality.

Cold and lonely.

Well, i dunno what to put for the title. mayb, something sad. so that u feel intrested to read it up.
neways. went to a dinner at a temple yesterday night. saw this guy from my entrepreunuership class. again. for the sec time when i've had that kinda dinner. i tot he wanted to talk to me, but i just acted blur.

i tot my actions were fooley, and went str8 back home and search him in friendster. wanted to apologise for my actions, but it turned out that he hasnt even noticed me.

blardy shit. and i made a fool outta myself! haha. i think i'm from aes as well. geez.

and i took the BTT today. i just hope i can pass, cuz i hasnt really study, and mayb some god will help me with it.

i might be meeting dear later, gotta pass him the puffs. and prolly, i just feel like having a romantic getaway with him, since he promised me some rollin' good, quality time with him.

i dunno. mayb i just have to take what comes my stride. =)

yah. i noe. wrong english used. but whatever. i dun really care. for now.

Ciao~

wow... finallly yeah!!!!!!

the exams are over.

u dint hear me wrong. i'm gayyyy!!!

lol. yesterday morning at 10.30, marked the end of hell and now's starting another round of freaking-out period, which is the anticipated, the exam results.
but well, life's abt waiting and waiting.

went out shopping with my gfs straight after the exams. to jurong point, and i live in ang mo kio. lol.
bought a dress for lili jie's wedding, and a blouse. we had quite a lot of fun. lol. after that, went to meet mom. she bought me a pair of jeans, skirt, and something like a cheong-sam. hee.
but still, life's pretty much intense.

mum just told me that grandpa's diagnosed with cancer, yet again. i thought it was not with him anymore. i'm sad, cuz when i think my grandma has left us, i wouldnt want another to go with her. i might be selfish, but, i just wouldnt want him to leave us.

and i noe, for the fact that grandma might be protecting him from anything now. i noe she'll want him to live happy and free of illness. right, grandma?

and mom's meeting up with a satan at her workplace. i shouldnt say this, but u have to noe. her colleague's a biatch. BIATCH. when my mom asked her if she wants to read a mag, she havent even waited for my mom to finish the sentence and cut it off crudely by, "NO."
now, what the hell is ur prob? mayb u need a man to satisfy u instead. f*cker.

den again, my mom tried to talk to her sometimes, but she just stands far from her. giving my mom tough days to spend. and my mom informed her few days ago that she'll be late for work today cuz she'll be going for a checkup, she dint say anything, yesterday, when my mom reminded her of the checkup, she told my mom"why cant u check earlier?" she said this crap when they're working at 10.30 today. piss off, biatch. u're a plague.

why does some satan still exists in the world? i thought GOD is supposed to rid these demons.

and sure enough, we have one satan in our grp. not quite a satan, but mayb someone who might get on my nerves quite occasionally..
mayb if i just dun care, would things be betteR? if just accepted things the way it is, would i be happier? instead of thinking all "its" bad points, would i breathe easy? not possible, cuz i'm a str8 forward person.

i wont entertain pests who actually takes advantage of us and sit ard, biatching their way.

sue and joy, know what i mean rite? LOL.

enuff's said. sit back, and enjoy the holidays. hee.

below are pix we'd taken yesterday...
At toy'r'us!

da cuties! errr, i mean barney. LOL. no, i mean my fav. gals!


da dingdong who starred in the movie, chicago, as an extra. borrowed the crop to just take a pic.lol



da threesome. lol! my best gals!


my arder soulmate

Now, back at home...

da disgusting me!

hi.

quarrels are never gonna cease, much less talking bout my wrinkles. i do not have wrinkles now, but in a few yr's time, or mayb, even next yr, i might have lines all over my face already.

i dunno why. i just cant seem to study. mugging, to me, is like drinking plain water. u know, the "marvelicity"( i invented this word myself) of coca-cola with ice and chrysanthemum tea just sends me to thrill. but, plain water? i dun take it as often. serious.

it's just plain. and hard to swallow.

sometimes, i wonder, if one is in a bad mood, would u think abt others?

i admit, i'm being selfish. but that's me. but i'm trying to strive. trying to not care. but i still did.

that's me.

and i suck.

okie okie. i dun.

LOL :p

*yawns

sorry for the crudeness in the opening. and i'm really aint into any studying.

though tmr will be the day when doom's gonna visit me. but seriously, i'm just sick of studying lar.

reading up the same sick old materials and suddenly with mah mind bolted to the thought of mr bongg.

yes. and i just posted a bulletin on friendster. well. read it if u have the time, if not, u can say byebye to that post.
anyways. i seem to have very dry eyes nowadays. dunno why. weird.

geez. and i'm feeling lethargic right at this moment when i've napped for like, 3 hrs this afternoon. what is happening to me....????

shall blog in u soon. see ya. -muackz-

Stressed yet fruitful.

hi. well, i aint afraid that if mr pang read my blog. i'm sitll gonna post this up.

today was a very hectic day. first, me and lijun went to school at 8 this morning to rush on our project...

next, we did the codings all the way, till 11, which was the time to present. but when we presented, the stupid codings dint work again, so me and lijun had to represent. den until 1.30, i rushed to my entreprenuership's presentation.

i dint have to do that ent presentation, but i have to stick ard with my grp members. but when it was like, 4+, i received a call from lijun. she sounded pretty tensed. and i got to noe that i gotta do another function for the vb project for mr pang. and so, i went from blk D to blk L. which, wasnt quite a distance, but still, stratigically-challenged for me, as i dint have any meals. lijun too. so when i reached blk L, i slumped into one of the comp and began to sulk. i really dint noe how to do the codings.

until i met my GOD. she's cindy, jl's fren. she helped me solved the codes within like, 10 mins man. geez. i have 0% of her brain. why. so stupid.

and the ent teacher told me that i have a high posibility of flunking that module.

doesnt sound feasible to me. just felt a bit unjustice done. i dint study man. shucks. if i have a re-test, i confirm can pass lor.

but well, what's done's done. i can just be conformed to hell if i really flunked that module.

and to sue n joy, damn. dun blame me. i'm a bitch by nature.

i guess u guys noe what i meant. but, bottom line is, i'll grow up. and be more sensible...
so guys, thanks for ur concern... i really appreciate what u guys did for me... =)

confused.

the moment when i post in here, i pose the danger of letting peeps noe bout my status.

but doesnt matter. it'll just be a matter of time.

had a chat with Alan today. he's my ex. and we'd known each other for 5 years. and counting. we got together in sec 2. broke and patch, broke and patch for a couple of times trouout this 5 yrs. well. i should say. he told me lotsa things today, which i dint noe. i realli dint noe.

i told him about him(another) and me. he asked, why am i still like that? he told me to stop criticising ppl that much. and dun expect too much. it felt like ive got a slap in my face. a slap from reality. it seems pretty much that i'm been drifting too much on this sea called life. and i had no directions or whatsoever in this huge place. finally, some sampan came and the kind fisherman gave me some seafood and asked me to quit roaming, and fish.

true enuff. i ode to quit roaming. in this huge area.
and fish. for food that's gonna fill my stomach. the food called maturity and the stomach called brain. finally i realised, that i'm really childish. always mentioning the word. that broke the possible love of my life's heart. i broke one too many. and mayb, God finally wanna let me have a taste of my own. of being lonely.

sadly enuff, i'm confused. mind is running wild. and free.

should i break free? or should i let him go?
tough question. shoot me dead.

i'm not worth to be alive.

awww. yawns.

am damn tired. but doesnt matter, a bit of blogging wont kill.

but yes. my braincells are 90% gone.

and i'll be vanished by then..

watched the lord of the rings-fellowship blah blah. i cried when boromir(or-whatever-his-name-was) died. and gandolf too. so poor thing. courageous and brave. i wonder if i can do the same as they did when i encounter such "happening" event. doubt so. but still, fiction shall remain fictious.

back to reality. i'm braincell-zapped, which is a new term for walking zombies like me. braincell-zapped. sue wants updates. and i wonder, if sue is the only caring soul who's been faithfully reading my blog. okie. mayb not. mayb she's kaypo. LOL. shit, im gonna get a arse-spanking from her. but no, she doesnt spank asses. -winks-

oh yes, and not forgetting grace. the occasional reader of my blog. and some other souls out there. meihui, etc. lol. and meihui and meihui and meihui. well, kept repeating ur name cuz... no other names to put lar.

school's been, not-so-hectic. for me. i dunno bout the rest. mayb they already have their tresses going str8 up abv their head. i realli dunno. i just wanna slack my way throu my poly life. though the way i'm leading it, ppl might just as well gimme a pat on my back and say something encouraging, like, "get a life, arse-hole."

i'm trying hard to. cant u see. but still. i'm in a hole too deep. it's nv ending. nv ask me to work. nv ask me to do my homework. my tutorial. shag my teacher. nah, the last one, omitted. it sounded too obscene. i have no intentions or what-so-ever too. unless, he has a nice -squishy- buttttt and mega-watt smile. den i shag till i'm shagged.

arghs. the abv paragraph is crap lar. serious. i realli have no intentions to have a shag with my *gag!* teacher. i will only do with my favourite one. and my soul, will tell me who. will lead me there.

crap, again. well, will stop crapping
i'm typing nonsense. it's so nonsensical that i find what i typed is complete nonsense.

and letchmi, can you pls improve on ur blog?

us w/o letch


that's me and letch. sorry for the pic. we're gross. but grossly beautiful. lol! just joking.

Ouch, it hurts!!!

Yesterday spelt drama. we almost broke up. yeah yeah, yet another childish act of mine, u might think. but seriously, i noe that i'm always harsh and impatient. anyone kid with me, off u go. and true, i tot i've been taking things for granted from him. but still, that's prolly cuz i seldom do!

but anywayz, back to the story. i was feeling all moody yesterday morning, and when he asked if i wanted to go out with him, i said dunno. he said, 'okie. today i listen to u. tell me where u want to go and i'll bring u there.' and i said dunno. and that got him dissing. like say, 20%. and he took it in his stride. and den again, he said,'okie, u go think abt it... i need to go take a power-nap. meet toa payoh at 3.' and i replied,'i dun wanna go out.' there. boom. 90%, and he said, anything, up to u. and we hung up the phone. i called him again, wanted to say that i want to go out. but he jumped into conclusion that i wanted to break. but den again, i cleared things up with him. so, he suggested to eat out. okie, dude. no prob. but, theere's a prob. my mom;s cooked. so i lied to him, that my house dint cook. and i asked him to go double check. if his mom's cooked. no, was the reply. alrite den, see u at 3.

den, at ard 1450, when i was downstairs waiting for cab, he called. 'eyy, my mom's cooked. come to my house to eat.' at that point in time, i really wanted to kick him at his groin. and make him groan like an old man. i dint wanna go, cuz of his family. complicated stuff, u shouldnt noe. den again, i said to go back to my own to take my breakfast. and den to meet again. and he's pissed cuz he thought i just was anti-social and dint wanna go to his house. but i wasnt. i just cant tell him the truth. and we quaarrelled. but den, we came to the agreement. eat already den meet. alrite. but he msged me: if u're going to carry on this attitude any longer, i'm afraid i cannt take it anymore.

boom. it's like a slap on my face. i tot everything was alrite, but he just "slapped" my face. like that. piak! ouch. it realli hurts. and i couldnt take it anymore. i mentioned the break up. and he said i broke my promise to him. my promised him, not to leave him, no matter what happens. an d he said i broke it. at that very moment, i just wanna quit. realli. go to somewhere rural, and bury myself alive.

and we fought. and he switched off his phone. and i rushed to his place. and he forgave me. ii noe, cuz it's myself taking him for granted sometimes. he'd gave in. i noe.

and then, we went to ikea. and i wore my new pumps there, and incurred some blisters. hurts like hell. and i bought a wall mounted lamp. hadnt done anything to it yet, cuz , when i returned home, it was 12 midn. dad says couldnt drill in anything at the mid of the nite! so, here i am. waiting for dad to come back at 3. to drrrrill it for me. hees. and we watched "Hitch". wasnt as nice as expected. prolly, i'd grade it C. realli. hmmmmm. i plan to watch boogeyman and the one starring jim carrey. the baby's so cute! =) just take a look below!

and my baby too. i love him. and i realised, after so much's happened, i realli couldnt leave him.

In awe.

hey. i'm in awe.

am realli happi today that my project's codings can work at least a bit...
well, and frens, pls dun think that i'm showing off or boasting... cuz it wasnt realli anticipated that it could work at the last min, so that's why i'm very happy... and kept emphasizing to u guys... reason being, i dun think telling him, he would understand it...

hmmm, and yes, my phone's only a week old and yet i've already dropped it twice. geez. TWICE!!!
why??? so poor thing, have a clumsy owner.

went shopping for shoeflats with jinling today, at junction 8 bishan... i bought one and i liked it. and jinling bot a pair with heels. and geez. one look at the shoes is like, one word for it: glam.

blam! and i bought a mug of the lil mermaid for like, 6 bucks. at minitoons. check it out, if u like mermaid as well.

AND! i eyed one long/sleeve at DANO. it spelt:princess. serious, it looked fab. and sweet. but i hesitated for very long. cuz my pocket's reaching doom. and jinling saw a long skirt, which i think looks very authenticating on her. nice. and she was also hesitating whether to buy or not.. so, finally. we decided. to buy. and she went to the stall. damn, cant fit her.
and i went to the DANO shop. damn, last piece, which is the display piece. so, both of us, ended up, with disappointment and left j8.

hmmm... so much for today. and yes, i aint realli angry at anyone, and i still feel like kicking bong's ass. i hate him.

good nitez, ppl.
ps.: i've changed the song to westlife's miss you. like it? ask the song from me. email me, tag me, whatever. it's urs. =)

Throwing in the white flag. i give up.

though this is not the first time. but still. sometimes i realli think, we shouldnt be together. i'm just very confused.

i noe u're sick of me, mentioning the break up and all. but u dint think that i am, too? bet u aint aware of it. well, things are getting way out of hand. i feel that we no longer have the common topics, and feel very distant nowadays.

reason may prob because we seldom meet nowadays, and waiting for ur call is like waiting for rain during the drought season. (someone on my msn list got this nick, adapted from there, hope he/she doesnt mind)

probably cuz i still have the tension from ur family. it realli gonna kill me sooner or later. seriously, like what i've told my frens, if i have a crystal ball, and i noe that i wont be with u in the future, i dun think that i would want to carry on our relationship anymore.

i think u can find a much better gf, and ur mom can find u another girl, better quality than me and prob can marry u anytime. so she can bore ur mom her longing grandchildren.

and i noe that if u read this post, u'll be very upset by what i've said. but all i said, is what my heart tells me to.