Down-ner. :(

i'm not sure if i am having pms or what.

quite sad with the way things are turning out.

today jemay put on a very nice smelling body cream, and she told me it's victoria's secret's body cream. but it's not wide selling in singapore, and i dont want to wait for so long for the shipping, so i went to ask jeannie to accompany me to buy the cream as jemay said that i could try far east plaza for the cream. but jeannie told me that bee-zai's waiting for her to dine together. then i told her, nevermind, i can go and get it alone. but then she said she'd already told bee-zai that she wont be going back home so early, so i'm thinking, 'why not?'.

we met up at dhoby ghaut, and i'd promised her 19.30 and she'll be home, but in the end, when we got there, the shop's lacking of the particular scent that i want, and the shopkeeper introduced us to another shop. and we took a very long time to get to the shop. finally, it's 19.30 already.

i made her late for the date with her sista.

and in the train on our way back home, i asked her if she wants to have chocolate fondue(we agreed to have it someday when we're free) tmr, and she said it's up to me to decide, cuz everything she say is of no use. to quote, (literally translated from mandarin to english)she said: 'you want means you want, you dont want means you dont want. even if i say i wanna have it tmr and you say you dont want, we still wont be able to have it'.

that somehow broke my heart. there are times when i DO get things in my way, but for her, i really wanna just let her be happy and do the things she wanted. but what she'd said really broke my heart.

so to her, i'm an arrogant brat who gets everything she wants, and not the least considerate for others? i'm sorry, but i'm not.


i always follow what jinling and jeannie wants to do and wants to say. and whatever they want to do, they can get it and have it. does she even think of my feeling?

i'm upset.


and someone close commented that i'm not like the one she used to know anymore.


i think i'm seriously taking things too sensitive, or is really telling how she felt?


arghs. what's so nice about this world? i've never taken a plane before. and i've always wanted to try. so does it mean that i am able to take it?


quarrelled with sharon about a fortnight back. guess we arent friends anymore.

and i'm feeling SUPERBLY lonely. am green-eyed about other girls who are sooo loveable and cheery. but me? i'm just an arrogant soul. arrghs