Big Green Eye Monster

Green Eye Monster.

went bonkers yesterday night.
i guessed i murdered myself with the green in me. shouldnt have did that, but then, i did.

hanwei, dear's fren, added me in friendster. browsed his page, saw his pictures, and it was all with his wife-to-be. felt envious of the girl, and thought why dear hadnt have yet to add our pictures in his profile. digress starts, and the green-eye monster kicked in. hecalled, asking what happened as i was acting strange already. i did not want to speak to him on the phone already as i was starting to assume and presume.

after hanging up the phone with him, i started to feel even angrier. "Why did dear not put our pictures in friendster?!". also, i was angry with him for not having to forget me while he's out, and that he's angrier when i did not message him when i'm out. i did not feel it was exactly fair to me.

today, i decided to be the "punisher". instead of the usual morning wake-up calls, i ignored the alarm which sounded for me to call him. i snoozed it, and went ahead with my make-up. he started calling, and i refused to pick it up.

he tried a lot of ways to contact me, but i still reject to answer his calls. reached the office, and he started to call my office. charlotte answered and i asked her to help with screening of calls. dear then called priscy. priscy called to my extension and asked me whatwas happening. from this moment, i burst out crying. i started to realise that i was being too much into ignoring him. but being the egoistic me, i didnt want to stop. i continued ignoring him, and i told the situation to Lois, my manager. she started to brainwash me, and told me that i shouldnt have done this to him. she said that i should give him a message and tell him i'm sorry for being this ridiculous. i did what she said.

he did not reply to that message of mine. this time, it was me who's like 热锅上的蚂蚁. called him, but he rejected my call. after that, i went for lunch with priscy. he called while i was on my way to meet her. he asked me what happened this morning, but i still (goondu) told him that i am not ready to tell him the reason. his turn to go bonkers.

met priscy and she chided me for being stupid. she said i should've told him what happened and that i shouldnt have ignored him further after my sorry message. he messaged priscy and said that he did not want to have a relationship that does not communicate. and he said i was ridiculous.

haiz. then i sent him a message again, telling him that i was sorry for what i did and that i still love him. i mean, of cuz i DO love him, it's just that, prolly after so much assumptions that he might not like me, i start to act like a goner. thus it explains so much into avoiding his calls, and etc.

it was late at night when the both of us reach home. cried even more worse while i was on the phone with him. am grateful that he forgived me, and gave me a chance to prove that i could still be his girlfriend. who could stand a daffy girlfriend who always tries to pick a fight just to attain attention? no one could really do that.

except for him. for that, i love him even more.

i hope in the future, things wont be the same anymore.

i hope i'll be able to care and shower him love and concern even more than what i did to my previous relationships.

and i hope this one will last.